I have received your letter and accept retirement from your obligation of service.
When we last met you said, “You’ve done nothing wrong,” and “it was not our intent to harm you.” Also, your most recent letter writes an appreciation for me doing “everything asked of me.” Nevertheless, it puzzles me why you continue harm against my person and for the greater community; Especially since Jesus’ teaching on truth, justice, and mercy is clear.
I asked only to be returned to “good standing.” It was, and remains, my invitation of Reconciliation and a way of repairing the harm done. It is the same Sacrament you preach and I am saddened you chose not to accept.
You reason that married, widowed, or divorced people would not accept a cleric who had experienced the same. Holy Wisdom tells me it is these very people who by their own lived experience of marriage in both grace and the cross; possess the necessary compassion. Just think, …compassionate care.
For the entirety of my 60+ years, I’ve held the belief that the institution “at least” strives to resemble its founder and mission. Sadly, in these past ten years, I’ve experienced much of what “NOT” Christ has called his Church to be. And for this, my conscience will not allow me to be silent or complicit.
My passage of tears has gifted greater clarity, trust, and gratitude in God Alone; as the sole source and arbiter of holiness.
And through this dark night, comes deeper gratitude and consent in Divine Presence and Action as the sole formation of my heart, mind, and soul. My sacramental identity and its service to the eucharistic liturgy and Communion of Souls remain.
So, in this contemplation, the Divine Indwelling, calls out:
A few weeks ago, our family lost a close relative and dear friend to covid.
After hearing the news, I went to Christine’s Facebook page. A few months earlier she posted, “I can’t believe I made it to Medicare.” Sadly, only a few months later, she is gone.
I try to imagine her last days of life. Were her husband and children able to be with her, …hold her hand, and accompany her? What thoughts, emotions, and pain were passing through her as life was slipping away? And now, for those left behind, what are they experiencing in their shock, loss, and grief? Certainly, not the future they envisioned.
What I do know, is that my imaginings cannot come close to answering these questions.
It has been a few weeks since her passing, yet I remain saddened on too many accounts. I still feel off-balance and tear up when I reflect upon the times that Christine made me feel appreciated and important. It was her nature and personality. And this memory is what remains of her – in me.
If, or when, I am ever called on to hold someone’s hand as they pass from bodily existence;What would the sacredness of the moment expect of me?
In these ponderings, I’ve come to realize that we are already accompanying each other on our journey toward death. We claim this from our very moment of conception, as we began accompanying our mother on her journey toward death, and she accompanies us. As well as our fathers, albeit in a different way. Then at birth, we join the rest of humanity on theirs, and they with us.
It is not when given a terminal diagnosis or when reaching a certain age that this walk begins. It has begun at conception.
Equally, in body and soul, in the unity of its nature,
the Spirit dwells among us and grants us a clearer vision.
All in all.
Last week, a friend of mine wrote,
“Guy, I wish I had your eye and art for beauty.”
Deep down, I welcome her compliment, but my impulse is to say “but you do have these same eyes!” We all have these innate capacities by virtue of being created. And if there are any differences between us (and I am not sure there are), it may be how I nurture this faculty…nothing more.
It is an intriguing thought how our mind’s eye works. We see something and fool ourselves into thinking we are seeing its objective reality. Yet all we can see is “reflected” light directed onto the photoreceptors of our retinas that turn into electrical signals. These electrical signals travel from the retina through the optic nerve to the brain. The brain turns the signals into images. Eyeball vision is totally subjective yet we most often frame it as absolute truth or reality.
When I remove my eyeglasses, vision and understanding of what I see change, objective reality does not. When I close my eyes – the same thing occurs. What we think we “see” is nothing but electrical impulses triggering mental illusions of image and thought. It is why ten people can look at the same thing, and each will see differently. Not necessarily a bad thing, but just as it is.
The more I recognize how limiting my eyesight is, the more I question what is real and what is not. At first glance, it seems a very insecure place to be but a “cloud of unknowing” is the foundation for spiritual poverty and essential for the practice of voluntary humility and contemplation.
…if your eye is sound your whole body will be full of light.” Matt 6:22
Once I can recognize the divine image where I don’t want to see the divine image, then I have learned how to see. (Richard Rohr)
It prompts me to nurture and trust deeper faculties of vision such as intuition, imagination, conscience, unknowing, spirit, soul, memory, consciousness, knowledge, and love (to name a few). This nurturing of our spirit is worthy at any age.
“During this night, rest in heart, seat of the soul and breathe anew”
“Stepping Stones,” writes Dr. Progoff, are the significant points of movement along the road of our lives, how we got from there to here, and what steps we selected along our path.
“Stepping Stones, or stumbling stones, …I am not sure.”
Childhood/ Family Foundations
Working Class
Five Siblings
Familial/ Cajun Legacy
As a boy, I cried easily. I recall an episode with my father when I was around 14 or 15 years of age. It was a simple misunderstanding, and I broke into tears in which he could not understand. I still remember his agitated and manly voice, “What are you crying for!” It triggered a felt sense of shame in front of my father. At that moment, I made a conscious decision it was time for me to grow up, stop crying, and be a “man.”
At 64, I’ve hardened a bit. I still cry when my heart is stomped but no longer ashamed of showing my tears.
Military/ Following Footsteps
Worldly College
Naval Aircrewman
Honorable Discharge
At 18, I had no plan for what I wanted to do or become so I enlisted. By the age of 22, I had circled the globe experiencing good and “not so” good in myself and the larger world. And my curiosity for electronics emerged.
University/ Satisfying Curiosities
BS Electrical Engineering
IEEE Centennial Medal
Average Grades
Teaching Certificate
Diaconal Certificate
After college graduation, I sat in my parent’s living room gazing at my diploma; Six years and thousands of math problems – now behind me. My dad said, “I sure did not think you would finish.” I was surprised by what he said.
Someone who knew me best – didn’t know or believe – some “thing” in me. I had proceeded at my own pace, and my grades were often borderline, but I never considered not completing. I held singular determination on what I had envisioned for myself.
1st Marriage/ Shattered Illusions
Fatherhood
Divorce
Split Parents
Grand kids
We choose our spouse but our parents are chosen by the hand of God; a child gets no choice in the matter. The great gift our parents offer is their example of how to live, and equally valuable how “not” to live. Once we leave our parents, it is our free will to keep what is good and let go of what is not. There is no life in victimhood.
Career/ Economy of Obligations
Veteran
Engineer
Chairman’s Award
Teacher
Twenty years ago, I asked one of my coworkers for feedback on how he thought I performed in my work. After a moment’s pause, he said, “You stick your neck out very far.” He was right, but it was from a conscious choice to be open, honest, and secure in who I am. Consequences come as they may – but what I valued more was that at the end of the day, to lay my head on its pillow and my conscience be clear.
Ministry/ Icon of Christ the Servant
Altar Boy
Peer Ministry/ BE
Liturgical Music/Art
Teacher/ Catechist
Holy Orders
When I was a child, I was taught as a child and did as a child.
My formal entry into adult ministry was borne from my first experience of major loss and grief. The seed was planted when told by others I was a good person and worthy of love. I hung onto Jesus and through the process of recovery decided to publically share my prayer and spirit with others.
In many ways, I am still that little boy. But each stage and circumstance of my life cooperated in some form of Grace inviting and other times pushing me to grow beyond childhood. My spiritual path at this juncture in life is to grow in consent to Divine Presence and action in my life.
2nd Marriage/ Friendship First
Cajun Boy/ Cajun Girl
“Marriage is for Life”
Divorce
Years ago, my father shared with me that his intent with other people was to extend trust upfront. They did not have to first earn his trust. He said if and when his trust was betrayed, he felt strong enough to take the “first” blow and recover. He would then adjust the level of trust in the relationship. I’ve done the same and learned; It is a hard choice to be vulnerable and trusting in this world but its fruits are authenticity, intimacy, and communion. I’ve also learned it to be a road less traveled.
Elderhood/ Unexplored Territory
Confront Mortality
Still the Mind
Open the Heart
Fruitfulness
Elderhood is both “Sunset” and “Sunrise.” To accept it as an invitation to cooperate in a sacrament of surrender; a graceful transition in letting go of what is no longer life-giving, or necessary. This gift comes to all of us by choice, age, infirmity, and ultimately death.
The grace of elderhood is that it offers liberty and deeper meanings for life. There is now time, space, and necessity to explore new landscapes, pathways, and other seekers along the way; without rush and with much less baggage to carry.
Fr. Ron Rolheiser offers another “stone” of elder wisdom. “The aged person as “a stone in the river,” giving the river its character:
An old woman may be helpful simply as a figure valued for her character. Like a stone at the bottom of a riverbed, she may do nothing but stay still and hold her ground, but the river has to take her into account and alter its flow because of her.
An older man, by sheer presence, plays his part as a character in the drama of the family and neighborhood. His character brings particular qualities to every scene, adds to their intricacy and depth by representing the past and the dead.
When all the elderly are removed to retirement communities, the river flows more smoothly back home. No disruptive rocks. Less character too.”
My friends and I often talk about our retirement. So I am tickled to play with the French origin and root meaning of the word “retire,” which is to “re-draw.” Give it to the French to speak the language of love and art.
For the past two weeks, I’ve been recalling all the names, labels, and role-titles I’ve been called throughout my life. Here’s the good, the bad, the ugly:
boy, child, father, son, husband, devil, leader, follower, teacher, student, scientist, engineer, deacon, sailor, veteran, schitzo, answer-man, guyeaux, guybeau, honey, hubby, friend, holy-man, satan, bull, rock, abuser, Anthony, philosopher, musician, artist, power-user, gentleman, too-religious, arrogant, good-man, neighbor, stranger, impotent, grandfather, professional, homosexual, democrat, republican, independent, Popsie, Popee’, babe, daddio, pops, war-criminal, mr. bingo, even called an extroverted-introvert, or maybe it was an introverted-extravert.
Some built me up, others tore me down. Yet, they are only words and thoughts in the minds of men – occupying the same house of cards.
And so, who do you say I am?
If 50 people know guy, they will think of 50 different guys. If 50 people see guy, each a different reflected light on the retina.
If 50 people hear guy, each receives different vibrations on the ear.
Even my own thoughts cannot express the totality and truth of Guy. So what is real and true in the mental constructs of the brain?
Who can deny that they are not more than the function of their own mind, emotions, and bodily sensing? And much more so in what others think.
Sit for a minute, attempting to clear your mind’s activity of its ongoing chatter, and you will discover its difficulty to Silence and for which it cannot enter in the “Cloud of Unknowing” or the “Dark Night of the Soul.” Nor can it hold absolute Truth and Reality, for it can only be self-referential.
Who can I trust to say who I am, or called to be, but the Love of the Divine Creator who brought me into existence?
We are created by love, to live in love, for the sake of love. It is not easy to own and claim love as our true identity and deepest dignity. The only way is to value our yearning, treasure our wanting, embrace our incompleteness, and be overwhelmed by the beauty of our need. Love invites our response. Love needs our response.– Gerald May
How does one become poor in spirit, …answer me that!
Now, when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them. He said: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt 5:1-3)
Instead of what people say about heaven, Jesus preached it is available to you and me in the “here and now.” Not simply as some future payback earned for good behavior or good standing in the eyes of men, but by our consent to participate with Divine Presence within each moment of our lives. It is an ongoing invitation and response of free will.
Still, the first beatitude has puzzled me since childhood. Are we not called to be filled with the Spirit?
Hard circumstances of these past few years pointed me to the contemplative traditions of the Church to which I have gained a deeper meaning into what it means to be “poor in spirit.”
I take from the writings of Christian mystics such as John Cassian, Benedict of Nursia, Theresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Meister Ekhart, Teilhard de Chardin, Thomas Merton, and others. I’ve also studied the contemplative practices of Centering Prayer, Christian Meditation, and Mindfulness.
These spiritual masters offer insight into spiritual questions that the modern Church struggles to articulate and much less practice. The Spanish Carmelite priest, St. John of the Cross (1542-1591) was a close spiritual associate with Theresa of Avila and her efforts at reforming the Carmelite community. They are both considered Doctors of the Church. John of the Cross wrote Dark Night of the Soul, Ascent of Mount Carmel, and the Spiritual Canticle.
After reading St. John’s Spiritual Canticle, I was stunned. Following are the specific lines that left me with a profound sense of personal communion and shared wellspring from which he wrote.
For every child, there comes a time to remove the training wheels and learn to balance oneself. I was fortunate to have a dad help make that transition.
Growing up, we did not get new bikes. They were used-up bikes given to my dad for us kids. With him being a mechanic, he would fix what needed fixing. They always seemed a bit rickety and oversized.
My big day came one late afternoon when dad returned from work. The route was our shell driveway. To the right was a row of young oak trees. With dad balancing the bike, I climbed to seat myself and find my footing on the pedals. Once ready, off we went with dad convincing me how good I was doing – almost by myself. Sustained by a shared momentum, he decides I am ready, and lets go. I’m wobbling forward and on my way.
The next challenge was the turns on each end of the driveway. I had plenty of space to make wide turns. Or so, I thought. I had “almost” completed one of those full turns, and there in front was the oak tree some twenty feet ahead. It was drawing me like a magnet. For whatever reason, maybe anxiety, I was locked on target and couldn’t steer clear. My euphoria came to a sudden crash. I learned how abrasive the bark of a live oak is to human skin. I took a few moments to recover my senses and check my wounds. I got back on and continued to ride until dark.
This event remains a positive memory. I had the will, courage, and trust to take a step in maturity and liberation, a rite of passage: a movement forward
If one thinks of this earthly life as birth-maturation-death or passage to a destination, then we can see a pattern filled with letting go, falling, getting hurt, (hopefully) recovering, and then moving forward by maturation and by new means. At least in my own life, I have seen this pattern unfold many times.
Just like the oak, there are many inevitable, immovable, and tragic events in our lifetime.
After the crash, I could’ve asked to put the training wheels back on but did not. I could not unlearn the facts or the truth that I could now balance on just two wheels. The training wheels were right in themselves and timely. Still, it was probably their limitations preventing the development of skills necessary to balance and steer away from a coarse and immovable object blocking vision and path.
Think about it. How many times do we fall in life? What are its consequences? What are its choices? How does it change us; do we grow from it, or do we regress, or do we just stagnate?
If we are to journey this life with a desire to mature emotionally and spiritually, it is important to differentiate that even the bicycle (much like everything in the physical world) only has purpose insofar as it helps us to our destination. When it has become an obstacle to that purpose, it is best to seek what is higher.
Today, the oak tree still stands. Its girth is much larger, and its bark remains coarse. There remains some beauty about it, although it is being choked by nearby oaks and much starved of ground nutrients and sunlight. Not sure it will be around in another sixty years.
I was fortunate to grow up having a dad. I learned much from him, but I often think my dad could have taught his son a bit more about manhood. Maybe, I would have avoided some of the typical missteps that most young boys make in their maturation. And then again, perhaps he did, but I wasn’t listening.
Perhaps, I needed to encounter that oak tree and its consequences to grow so to detach from unnecessary appurtenances and appearances? Maybe it is in falling where we cross the threshold to gain eternal wisdom.
I leave you with a thirteen minute video from Fr. Richard Rohr speaking on letting go; False ego-Self/ True Soul-Self.
ps. I recognize that some kids never got a bike and never learned to ride. That may have been an unfortunate circumstance of your upbringing but it doesn’t mean you have to carry that loss your entire life. Buy your own then receive from those who have been given.
Could you not discern the Grace and gain its eternal Wisdom?
The first time the term Christian (which literally means “Christ Ones”) was used in describing followers of Jesus Christ was in Antioch, Syria (Acts 11:26).
Prior to this time, followers of Jesus Christ were simply known as “people of the Way” (Acts 9:2, 24:14) in reference to their lifestyle, i.e., the way of life they lived. In other words, it was their lifestyle that identified them as being followers of Jesus Christ, not their words.
The featured image above, is the product of an art class assignment. The assignment was to construct a collage by cutting up various pieces of prior art that I had done for the class. I took one of my favorite artist, Norman Rockwell’s self-portrait piece as inspiration.
I’ve titled my collage “Distractions along the Way. It is a self-reflection of the spiritual journey through life. The left side represents various distractions this world offers each of us. The right side represents three stages of the spiritual life. I will offer a basic reading then conclude with thoughts pulled from other sources.
Eaten Apple – succumbing to worldly temptations
Head in a fishbowl – cannot escape the world and all it holds
Book titles/symbology – 7: Seven deadly sins, Superman: male super-ego, Licit/Illicit (Addictive) Drugs: Caffeine, Tobacco, Salt, Alcohol, Marijuana, Cocaine, LSD, etc. Dictionary/Music: ie. false words. Money: as a root of evil.
Sailor cap: join the Navy and see “the world.”
TV/Computer: the world’s reach into your home, at our fingertips.
Thought Bubble: corruptions of heart and mind (the flesh/ego)
Demon: Evil in “the world.”
Skeleton: the world’s (mis) representation of one’s true self.
Three commonly described stages of the spiritual life: Purgative, Illuminative, and Unitive.
Encircled Dove – Representative of the Triune Godhead
Icon of Christ – True Man/True God, Image of self-reference or formation
When I reflect through various choices I’ve made through life, I find both ignorant foolishness and fortunate wisdom. I suppose this is life. I leave with the words of Julian of Norwich.
“First we must fall, and then we recover from that fall – and both are the mercy of God.”
“Your God would never punish you for being a human being: this life itself is your penance, she reminds you. But it is also more than that: it is a crucible for transformation. Each trial, every loss, is an opportunity for you to meet suffering with love and make it an offering, a prayer. The minute you lift your pain like a candle, darkness vanishes and mercy comes rushing in to heal you.“
As we continue our journey “along the Way,” please accept my encouragement.
The featured image is the title page from my grandmother’s 100-year-old french prayer book titled, “L’Ange Conducteur Dans La Devotion Chretienne.”
Its title is loosely translated as “Guidance of the Angel in Christian Devotion.” The original author is Jacque Coret (1631-1721) of Liege Belgium. This particular 40th edition was likely printed during the 1920s.
My grandmother passed in 1974 from breast cancer at 69 years of age. I was seventeen years old. We affectionately called her Mom-mom. Her prayerbook includes the full range of Catholic prayers, a few personal notations, various prayer cards, and newspaper obits.
I don’t recall ever having a religious or spiritual conversation with her. Yet, her obit says she was a member of the Saint Ann Society, Bonne Mort Society, and League of the Sacred Heart. It seems she was a prayerful woman. And like many of her generation in south Louisiana, she would have learned her Catholic faith from community and family in french.
I was brought up with the same Catholic prayers, doctrine, and dogma as my grandmother, except in English. Like my grandmother, my faith foundation was set up by family and church tradition, but times have changed. And being able to look back causes me to think about how time, language, and custom evolve our understanding and practice in matters of personal faith.
It seems that personal differences derive from man, not God. And begs the question: To what extent are our belief systems conditioned from personal biases apart from what is freely given by YWHW?
If you and I were born in a different place and time, how would our faith or relationship with God differ?
The first written forms of the Old Testament were in Hebrew. The New Testament was in Greek. And Jesus’ language was Aramaic. The bible we read today is a modern English translation. On top of all of that, it has been thousands of years since the actual events took place.
So, anything beyond one’s personal, intimate, and direct experience with the “Divine Source of Life” is a translation of some sorts. Even the gospels of the New Testament which we consider as inspired are written by (unknown) human authors with a specific intent and audience.
Back to the prayerbook: I will share a few images and translations from my grandmother’s prayer book and close with a personal reflection.
PRIERE DU MATIN (morning prayer)
Acte de Foi
Act of Faith
English Translation: Eternal and Almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, one God in three persons: I believe in you because you are infinitely good and faithful to your promises; I adore you and I love you with all my heart because you are supremely kind, and I love my neighbor as me for the love of you.
AVIS SALUTAIRES (beneficial opinions)
Sanctifier la Journee
To Sanctify the Day
At the time of your waking up so regulated, that nothing, as much as possible, is capable of disturbing it. When you wake up raise your god; pray while living there; then say your ordinary prayers, and plan for any opportunities you may have to offend God during the day, so that you may be on your guard to avoid them.
Attend to Mass with the necessary provisions to honor the holy Mysteries, and to profit from it for your salvation. Choose the prayers you should say there. The best are the ones that unite us with the Priest, or rather with Jesus Christ, who is the invisible Priest.
Give, if possible, half an hour, or a quarter of an hour to meditation on a truth of Christianity or on the Passion of Jesus Christ. Learn how to do this exercise. Perhaps the best is that given to us by healthy Francois de Sales in the second part of his introduction to the devout life, or of his Philotee. If you understand the importance of meditation, always find the time to do it, and if you do it, you will soon learn to do it easily.
Give some time to read a good book every day. Read to the presence of God who speaks to you yourself. Penetrate yourself of what you read, taste it, apply it to yourself, and ask him the graces to execute the good desires, that he inspires you by this reading, which is a kind of meditation, and takes the place of a sermon when you can’t attend.
Raise your Heart to God at the beginning of each action, offer it to him and make frequent and familiar use of the prayers which are short aspirations or affectionate impulses that bring to God: Lord, I hope in you … I love you with all my heart … Forgive me my God, the fault that I have just committed. Saint Francois de Sales, that these aspirations support in the absence of all other orations, and that all the others do not supersede the defect of these. They can be done anytime, anywhere, and in the midst of bigger occupations.
PRIERE DU SOIR (evening prayer)
Metton-nous en la presence de Dieu, et adorons-le
Let us put ourselves in the presence of God and worship him.
English Translation: My God, I appear before you, at the end of this day, to adore you through Jesus Christ your very dear Son, and to thank you in his name for all the graces I have received from you.
My God, sovereign judge of men, who, by infinite mercy, does not want the sinner to perish, but that he avoids by penance your fearful judgments; I humbly present myself to you, to give you an account of this day. Give me, Lord, the lights don’t I need to know my faults, and the pain necessary to hate them well.
Societe de l’ANGE-GARDIEN
“Je suis la resurrection et la vie”
Personal Reflection
“We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit that is from God, so that we may understand the things freely given us by God.” (1 Corinthians 2:12)
My grandmother’s prayerbook contains nearly 500 pages and over 40,000 words of someone else’s thoughts. May God bless them.
I am grateful for the faith formation by my parents and grandparents. It gave me a foundation and starting point. All was proper for the moment but I am no longer a child.
Trust in God, “as the source of all that is life,” – is to be lived in the present.
If one accepts a faith of redemption and grace, the divine relationship is to be lived in its present moment, not in the past nor the future. There is no need to build bigger barns to keep past thoughts, words, or actions.
Only gratitude and surrender required.
“The truth of the matter is that God is speaking to us all the time in all the circumstances of life. Every work that we undertake, every experience we undergo, every encounter and relationship we are involved in is a manifestation of God; revealing something of Creator and creation, speaking out of its own depths, in all of them.” (Cyprian Smith, OSB)
Today, my prayer is less vocal so that I may listen more intently to “things freely given.” Because of it there has been a reordering of my relationship with God, the larger Body of Christ, and with myself. This “free gift” requires willingness and readiness to receive. And a desire for change not “outside of self,” but within.
No words can adequately describe the personal encounter in the soul. It is the most private place of intimacy with our Beloved. The most I could do is a poetic reflection titled “Centering,” found under the tab “Conjectures.”
” I say it is useless to waste your life on one path, especially if that path has no heart.”
Can’t say but maybe it is because I am older with life experiences that helps me realize that what I choose to do and where I choose to place myself either feeds, or starves, my soul. What I do know is that I no longer wish to be where it is not life giving. And, I do have a choice.
Sometimes, we don’t know if a path in front of us will give life until we take it and experience it for ourselves. At some point, you will know, and if the conclusion is no, it is incumbent to consider taking the next fork on the path.
So how do we hold on to what gives us life and let go of what doesn’t?
I will leave with an excerpt from a simple book titled, Sleeping with Bread: Holding What Gives You Life.
During the bombing raids of World War II, thousands of children were orphaned and left to starve. The fortunate ones were rescued and placed in refugee camps where they received food and good care. But many of these children who had lost so much could not sleep at night. They feared waking up to find themselves once again homeless and without food. Nothing seemed to reassure them. Finally, someone hit upon the idea of giving each child a piece of bread to hold at bedtime. Holding their bread, these children could finally sleep in peace. All through the night the bread reminded them, “Today I ate and I will eat again tomorrow.”
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of his freedoms – to choose one’s attitudes in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
God Bless, and feel free to comment
ps. the featured image at the top of this blog was taken by my son, Phillip and the man in the image is my other son, Joseph. They both recently returned from a sightseeing trip to Scotland.