Grace -

Pathway of Soul

“We all have the innate capacity to manifest God because we already are that image by virtue of being created.” (Thomas Keating)

So, what gives rise to the mistaken belief that we are ever separate from Grace?

The below image is my rendering of a famous 12th-century icon, by Andrei Rublev, based on Genesis 18 and titled, Hospitality of Abraham; The biblical story where three strangers are welcomed into the abode of Abraham and Sarah.

I’ve titled it “Never Alone.” It expresses conviction and consent of God’s Presence and Action in my life, a Holy Presence which never abandons nor exiles. It suggests a relationship and a safe meeting place for communion and refuge from the worst of this world.

See the eucharistic chalice at its lower center. When I was a child, I would imagine when receiving communion during mass; the host would float down over my speckled soul; Wrap it and return it to full white divinity.

Today I hold a broader experience, imagination, and practice of prayer, Church, and our eucharistic sacrifice. I include lived experience and imagination as necessary for a deeper understanding of faith’s mysteries. For words can only point.

It is through the practice of Contemplative/Centering Prayer that I am reminded my thoughts are not God’s thoughts.

Contemplative prayer is silence, the “symbol of the world to come” or “silent love.” In this silence, unbearable to the “outer” man, the Father speaks to us his incarnate Word, who suffered, died, and rose; In this silence, the Spirit of adoption enables us to share in the prayer of Jesus. “…like entering into the Eucharistic liturgy.” (CCC2711, 2717)

When I recognize that I am ” a little more than nothing,” but much, much more than my thoughts, my feelings, my body, my spirit, or their summation, I begin to know myself deeply and this “silent love,” within my soul.

And not me just alone, but as my spiritual sister (Cynthia) in the forest calls the below image, “the great cloud of witnesses;”

A Communion of Saints

In being open, vulnerable, and heartfelt in the sharing of both light and shadow, we enter a deep intimacy, …as a communion of holy persons.

This agape, …our communion of souls is the very best of meeting places. And for me, the incarnate and deepest meaning of Church, “on earth as it is in heaven.”

Until we enter full consummation with “thy kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven,” our outer man and outer world will bear its suffering and death. It is a lonely place, but through our call and participation as a People of God in the Work of God (Opus Dei), we live a deep eucharistic (sacrificial) liturgy (CCC 957,1069).

First, then, a lesson of silence (CCC 533).

Continue reading “Pathway of Soul”

Fruitfulness: Spiritual Ripening

Mr. Bob died two years ago.

I barely knew him yet I often think of him.

I met Mr. Bob a few years before his death while making monthly visits to Evangeline Oaks nursing home to offer Holy Eucharist. Bob was in his mid 80’s and was born with Cerebral Palsy. He never married, held a job, or drove a car. He lived and was supported by his family for his entire life. His body was wracked, and speech garbled.

In his little corner of the room he shared was a small collection of worn photos of young boys in their little league baseball uniforms. After introducing myself, I asked him about the photos. In his strained effort to speak, he shared his love of baseball and passion for coaching the underprivileged boys in the community.

When we first met, Mr. Bob could walk on his own. He made his way to the activity room for Communion Service. Not long after, he required a walker and soon thereafter could not leave his room without assistance. I began going to his room to offer Eucharist.

Some of the times when I would visit Mr. Bob’s room, his younger brother, Gerald, was visiting. Their devotion toward each other was obvious. There were these random moments where they spoke to each other in a “call and response.” One would say, “Not my will but thine be done!” and the other would respond, “Not my will be thine be done!.” I am not sure which of the brothers would start it or trigger it; maybe pain, doubt, maybe a need for comfort and assurance. I heard this on practically every visit in which his brother Gerald was there. And to this day, I can still replay the call and response in my mind’s eye, “Not my will, but thine be done!”

Here is someone who did not experience the many advantages I had and continue to have in life. I did not pity Mr. Bob but was amazed, “Not my will but thine be done!”

Mr. Bob would light up when I entered the room, especially when seeing the vessels of the Eucharist. We would make our pleasantries and come together for a shared prayer before Eucharist. After a brief moment of silence, we could chit-chat a bit. Despite his extreme disabilities, he was an image of exuberance that always uplifted me and left me eager to see him again.

On one occasion, I entered his room, his bed was empty, and his belongings were gone. I was told he had a stroke and was at the hospital.

Later that day, I went to the hospital. His brother Gerald was with him. Mr. Bob was awake but unable to verbalize. The most he could do was moan and grunt a bit. I told him that he was a holy man and an inspiration to me. And that God’s Holy Spirit would take care of him.

After some time, Mr. Bob returned to the nursing home. He could no longer speak legibly, was bedridden, and kept nourished with a feeding tube. He could no longer receive Eucharist. Instead, I would pray with him aloud or gently sing a church hymn. I would hold the Eucharist above him and affirm his receiving of Christ. I can still see his body animate with a groaning of excitement and spirit.

Before ending the visit, I would gesture a blessing, telling him, “Mr. Bob, you are a blessed and holy man. You still have something to give to the rest of us; thank you!” I may have been the one gesturing a blessing, but I knew it was he who was blessing me. There was a sense in me that I was witnessing a living saint. And I still believe so.

After his stroke, Mr. Bob lived for another eighteen months bedridden, flat on his back and on a feeding tube. Unable to talk and yet deeply communicated.

I attended Mr. Bob’s funeral mass and was able to tell his brother Gerald how inspired I was by his brother. I was the only white man at his funeral.

Aristile “Bob” Lilly (1932 – 2019)

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“The real question before our death, then, is not, how much can I still accomplish, or how much influence can I still exert? but, how can I live so that I can continue to be fruitful when I am no longer here among my family and friends? That question shifts our attention from doing to being. Our doing brings success, but our being bears fruit.

The great paradox of our lives is that we are often concerned about what we do or still can do, but we are most likely to be remembered for who we were. If the Spirit guides our lives—the Spirit of love, joy, peace, gentleness, forgiveness, courage, perseverance, hope, and faith—then that Spirit will not die but will continue to grow from generation to generation“ (Ron Rolheiser).

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Our Greatest Gift: Fruitfulness

Continue reading “Fruitfulness: Spiritual Ripening”

Gallicantu

Yesterday, I was one of 80 Christian men who were gathered to listen to a man of the cloth presenting his food for thought. He shared an inspirational talk to us like-minded men titled “Know Yourself to Share Yourself.” The underlying message was about having the courage to being open about who you truly are and being present to each holy moment in your life. It was all good stuff.

He began “Who wants to be a saint?” Only a few raised their hands. Unsatisfied with the faint response, he asked again, “Who wants to be a saint?” Most everyone raised their hands.

I did not.

He went on, “Well, what is a saint, anyway. It is someone who lives with God in heaven. Who does not want to go to heaven?”

What stumps me is that most people live as though heaven and sainthood can only come after we die which is contrary to authentic Christian teaching and a form of denial of Christ.

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me (Gal 2:20)

Every baptized Christian is reborn in Christ. We can choose to participate in the divine life of God now. This is called Grace. It is no longer I, but Christ who lives in me. Each and every moment we can choose to partake in the divine life of the Living God, or not.

We are invited to participate in God’s divine life – in the here and now. Eternity, or eternal life, does not begin when I die. We are already within its domain.

We are able to hold awareness of this divine participation (sainthood) in God in short glimpses, except when in denial to the Christ who lives in me. And this denial comes in many forms. The Apostle Peter gives us a good example of words spoken contrary to one’s actions (Mk 14:29-31).

Peter said to him, “Even though they all fall away, I will not.” And Jesus said to him, “Truly, I say to you, this very night, before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times.” But he said vehemently, “If I must die with you, I will not deny you.” And they all said the same.

Later that night, Peter denies Jesus and himself. Luke notes that at the crowing of the cock, Jesus (who must have been in the high priest’s courtyard) looked directly at him. Peter immediately remembered his promises of faithfulness as well as Jesus’ prediction. He then went out and wept bitterly (Luke 22:62).

The image below is a memorial to Peter’s triple denial in Jerusalem taken while on pilgrimage. It is near the Church of St. Peter at Gallicantu on the eastern slope of Mount Zion just outside the old walled city of Jerusalem. Gallicantu means “cock’s crow.”

Peter could have become a man filled with despair. Seeing his own weakness so directly, knowing that Jesus had seen it and now even his fellow apostles knew about it, how could he still enjoy anyone’s respect? Yes, Peter (like most of us) could have packed away the burden of his sin eroding his soul through self-criticism, depression, and spiritual pessimism. He did not and neither should we.

And soon after, Jesus comes back to Peter and his companions on the shores of the Galilee, at Tabgha.

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” (Jn 21:15-16)

Jesus’ never abandons his Beloved, and neither should the Beloved abandon the Lover. Sadly, even as we claim ourselves Christian, we still do.

Especially during this Lenten season, I find it useful to consider how easily and often I deny Jesus?

Now getting back to yesterday: Our most entertaining talk is over, most everyone is in a “gung ho” spiritual mood and it is now time for lunch. Someone grabs the microphone and announces, “Let’s say blessing before we eat! A loud chorus responds, “Bless us, O Lord and these thy gifts,….”

We all hurry to stand in the lunch line and I whisper to one of my buddies who enjoys philosophical discussions as much as I do, and I ask him,

“If all of God’s creation is already holy and blest – what are we humans blessing???”

Ps. I suppose that is a topic for another day

A reason for hope

“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience… (1Peter 3:15)

When I teach adults, I usually begin by asking how they came to believe in God, I usually hear “It’s what my parents taught me.” My response to them is “ When you were a child, your parents probably told you about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and I doubt that you still believe it, …so what is different?”

Admittedly, it is a thought provoking question, but safe to say we are not saved because of what someone else tells us.

There is but one God, and the “reason” or account that each of us is to give is personal to our own experience and relationship to the Almighty. As children, we trust parents and teachers to guide us. As we grow in spiritual adulthood our conviction of faith, while not being exclusive of community, is between God and I.

Do you ever wonder what your faith in God would be if instead – you had been born of Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, or indigenous parents? What would your engagement with God be? How would it be different, if at all? Now, I know we do not get to choose our parents so it is unrealistic to have been born other than what has occurred, but – consider how much of your faith is conditioned by your environment, community, and book knowledge compared to your “first hand” human experience of the divine.

In John Paul II’s 1988 encyclical “Faith and Reason,” it states:

“Faith and reason are like two wings on which the human spirit rises to the contemplation of truth; and God has placed in the human mind and heart a desire to know the truth–in a word, to know Himself–so that, by knowing and loving God, men and women may also come to the fullness of truth about themselves.”

Going back to the introductory quote from 1 Peter:

My mind cannot believe the physical universe just came to be out of chance.

I live each day knowing that, at best, I recognize only a fragment of God’s fullness and that I am blessed to participate in his divinity. There are, at least, a half dozen moments in my life where I can only point to a “power” beyond myself and to which I consider the Grace of the Holy Spirit as operative. When I was Confirmed at twelve, I consciously willed discipleship to Christ and felt such a stirring of the Holy Spirit in my being that even today the moment remains real (and present). It was truly a significant “faith” event but note that if I had not been catechized in the faith, I would not have even been at the church that evening. Regardless, that was my first personal experience and conviction of God’s existence and presence in my life. And even in spite of my many failings – I have never felt abandoned by God’s Spirit. It is how I understand God’s Love.

Other moments where I have experienced intense Grace are: the gift of my children, Reconciliation, Liturgy, the death of my father, select moments in ministry, and even “new life” after the “little deaths” such as the loss of spouse, marriage, and experienced injustices, etc. The more I live this life, the more I see the paschal mystery as the overarching cycle in this life. It is that – to which my faith and hope hang onto Jesus and the gospel.

My upbringing and adult spiritual and theological formation have gone a long way in filling huge gaps in knowledge but, knowledge alone means little if it is not supported by a “lived” faith. The statement “faith builds upon and perfects reason” is believable to me because it characterizes my own experience. On the other hand, our ability to know God and the invitation to participate in the life of God (ie. Grace, CCC1997) is given freely and undeserved.

As a modern people, we continue the tradition of the Greek philosophers and all the religious theologians (ever since) in debates of God’s existence which emphasize either; Reason over Revelation, Revelation over Reason, Reason Only, Faith Only, or Faith and Reason. Sadly, I doubt we are any closer; considering we could put 10 (clergy or laity) in a room to discuss the meaning of any doctrine or dogma and still get 10 different teachings. To what do we attribute this human need to differentiate and divide,… is it our innate desire to know God or just prideful triumphalism? …I do not know.

Since our knowledge of God is limited, our language about him is equally so. [Therefore,] … the Church is expressing her confidence in the possibility of speaking about him to all men and with all men, and therefore of dialogue with other religions, with philosophy and science, as well as with unbelievers and atheists. (CCC 40, 39).

So, let us keep talking with gentleness and respect:

What is your reason for the hope that you have?

The featured image is from the lower right hand corner of a Russian icon of the Nativity. The focus is on St. Joseph who according to Matthew’s gospel (ch1:18) was struggling with great doubt upon the news of Mary’s pregnancy knowing they had not come together. He was considering sending her away. I am told the little curmudgeon facing Joseph is representative of the fears and doubts he is struggling with. But as Joseph considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream saying, ” Do not fear to take Mary your wife… When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded…”

The Courage to Be – Part 1

It is good to have an ego but an exaggerated egoic mind constantly bombards us with a self-centered fantasy working to convince us with an image of we are in comparison to others – this “false” image maker never stops.

In addition, people around us will sometimes tell us who they think we are but mostly they keep their thoughts to themselves. It becomes their little secret to wage love and war. No matter who we are or what we do – some people will appreciate, some will dislike but most will just be indifferent.

The internal messages we tell ourselves and the self-projections that others put on us easily influence us and are powerful motivators for good and bad. We are all susceptible, but to allow one’s life to be dominated or driven by an exaggerated ego or the self-projection of others is to chase the wind.

Much, if not all of our internal and personal conflicts and conflicts within society and between societies can be traced to a loss of self-identity. It only takes open eyes to know that sin is real and evil is real. We are bombarded constantly with thoughts from within and from outside that we are less than who we were created to to “Be.” But sin is not who we are – sin is who we are NOT. When we lose sight of this, we become lost. And the challenge is to return to the pathway on our journey back to God.

We all live in dysfunction to one degree or another but all creation is “good” and “holy.” Our “origin” is “holy.” We were created in “Original Holiness.”

What I choose to believe is my core essence (and yours) is this:

I am holy.

I was holy.

I was always holy.

I know this to be true because Christ loved me into holiness and gave me the presence of the Holy Spirit.

I am called to holiness by Christ himself, who taught, in the words of St. Matthew, to be “perfect as God is perfect.” By transforming the activities and events of my everyday life into holy moments, I will grow in this perfection and the world will more and more resembles God’s Reign.

“Love God with all your heart,” the Scriptures tell me, “with all your soul, with all your understanding, with all your strength. Love one another as Christ loves you.” These commands in Scripture are really an invitation to be holy. By holy love, I nurture in the world a way of life that is more gentle, more beautiful, more human.

Over and over again, the Scriptures describe what this holiness will resemble: a heart of mercy, humility, meekness, patience, awareness of God’s mercy when I have sinned, and a spirit of forgiveness toward others.

There are many ways for me to live out this call to be holy. I should walk according to my own personal gifts and duties, in the pathway of a living faith. I am to model my life after the apostles, who worked tirelessly for the Gospel. In my sufferings of this life, I am to find holiness in my special relationship with Christ who suffered.

Love is the principal way to holiness. Beyond that and included within it are the sacraments, prayer, the Eucharist, self-sacrifice, service to others, and virtue lived every day. As a faithful imitator of Christ, I am invited to strive for holiness, even perfection.

I pray to hear deeply God’s call within me, observant and appreciative of life’s unique treasures. Let neither the use of things of this world nor attachment to riches hinder me in my quest for perfect love.

This post is the first of a series of short essays titled, The Courage to Be. The core of this particular essay comes from chapter 5 of “Christ is the Light of the Nations” (Lumen Gentium). The source text is rewritten in first person.

The butterfly is considered a Christian symbol for resurrection (new life).

For Those Who Wish It

“Do not say: It is impossible to receive the Holy Spirit. Do not say: Human beings do not see divine light; this is very possible for those who wish it.”

St. Symeon, The New Theologian

As a naïve and imaginative twelve year old, I gave my life to Christ and when I did – I felt flushed with the Holy Spirit. It was at my Confirmation. I can recall the place and experience as though it was yesterday. Ever since, I’ve never doubted the existence of a power greater than myself, …at work in my life.

As our teachers prepared us for Confirmation, two biblical stories captured my imagination; that of Solomon and his noted wisdom (1 Kings 3:5) and the Upper Room event on the Jewish Feast of Pentecost (Acts 2).

Great emphasis was placed on the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit (wisdom, understanding, knowledge, counsel, piety, fortitude, and fear of the Lord). For whatever reason, I thought we could ask for and receive “only” one of seven gifts of the Holy Spirit. I chose Wisdom.

It was an easy choice for if I chose Wisdom, like Solomon, I would also have a pretty good chance for riches and long life. Kinda like three for the price of one. (note: I may have been young and naiive, but not stupid.)

The evening of Confirmation was a significant experience for me. That night, I made a conscious choice to give my life to Christ, …to be his disciple and willing to die for it. This is certainly heady stuff for a twelve year old but when I committed to this, I felt such a rush of something come over me.

Now, I do not claim to know what the Holy Spirit feels like and I must say that I do not ignore the possibility that what I felt was temporal emotions but I did experience something. Within my belief system, I attribute it to God’s Spirit acting and operating upon and within me, …no differently than what the Apostles experienced on that first Pentecost after Jesus’ death.

Some fifty years later, I can recall nearly a half dozen events in my life where the Grace of the Holy Spirit has convicted me of its presence and power. I hope to write on these events, as time goes.

I have never stopped asking God for Wisdom and have never failed to be blessed by it. I simply await patiently. It is not some super mental power that elevates me above anyone else. I sense it more to be enlightened understanding of the mind of Christ’s teaching as it portends to salvation and to being. It is no doubt a divine gift that is absolute good, but admittedly, there are moments when I’ve felt it as burden since it blows apart my neat little world of right and wrong, should be and should not be, worthy and unworthy. God’s love shatters my worldview of reward and punishment. It never feels as the easier path in life.

For many years, I’ve thought my Confirmation experience was common to every one else. From what people tell me, most have not had any special experience to recall. I have always wondered why. Maybe it was my childhood gullibility to believe what adults told me coupled with my imagination. I do not know, but whatever the reason, I am glad for it because I have never felt alone in the joys and the tragedies of my life.

About 10 years back, I became aware that one is not limited to just one Gift of the Holy Spirit. We receive all (wisdom, understanding, knowledge, counsel, piety, fortitude, and fear of the Lord) at our Baptism. As God is Love, God does not ration Love, or give more to one than another. It is given in full (to all) and all we have to do is open ourselves to it and participate in it. That is the free gift of Grace. We really do not have to even ask for it. It has been freely and fully given. We are in Christ. We live and have our being within the divine life of Most Holy Trinity. And yes, it does take Faith but with Faith, one has eyes to see.

By the way, nowadays, I have added Compassion to my petition and have the rest of my life to cultivate it.

The featured image is an icon of St. Symeon, the New Theologian. Symeon was an abbot and ascetic writer in tenth-century Constantinople. He was born in Galatia, Asia Minor, in AD 949. Symeon was not stranger to controversy, even within his own community. His first fifteen years as an abbot was a time of rebuilding, efforts to reform the monks, an increase in vocations. Many of his writings and hymns are still available. The inscriptions that I placed on the scroll that he is holding is one of my favorites. It reads:

“Do not say: It is impossible to receive the Holy Spirit. Do not say: Human beings do not see divine light; this is very possible for those who wish it.”

Do you wish it?

Grace is not a thing

The featured image was composed during a painful moment of personal loneliness.

It is inspired by a famous icon titled, “The Hospitality of Abraham” which images the biblical story of Gen 18:1-18. Three visitors sit at table with Abraham and Sarah under the Oaks of Mamre. It is one of the earliest biblical “theophanies” of God, as Trinity; Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

We all experience loneliness and there are many triggers; Sin, Shame, Desertion, Loss of Spouse or Family, Disability, Depression, Old Age, Approaching death, etc. In this desolation, we are most vulnerable to the evil lie that we are alone in our pain and damned to eternal victimization where there is no Hope.

Truth is that we are never alone.

Through Baptism, Grace infused by the Holy Spirit enters into our soul – heals it and makes it holy – enabling it to live within the Body of Christ and to act by and through Love.

This Grace is favor, the free and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to become his children, partakers of the divine nature and of eternal life. In a most simple understanding; Grace is a participation in the life of God. And yes, it cannot be known except by faith which leads us to a response to its invitation.

To live a life of faith, is to recognize that we are never alone in our human experience but have access to a participation within the divine life and relationship of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God gives us the gift and the capacity to make our own happiness out of our own situation.

Was there ever a mystifying occurrence in your life, of either joy or tragedy, that caused you to consider that maybe something greater than yourself was at play?

Perhaps you considered it coincidence, …perhaps divine Grace.

By what means do we believe, …

No one has to tell this young boy that something is on his line. He has not yet seen it and cannot describe it but from the look on his face, we know he is engaging in mind, body, and spirit while anxiously awaiting to find out.

We begin our earthly life codependent on parents and caretakers for survival. They are preparing us for the day when we reach adulthood and becoming accountable for our own choices in life.

When I’ve ask adults, “How did you come to believe in a God?” they most often reply, “Its what my momma and daddy taught me.” Yes, we are to be most grateful for their guidance but in regards to our own eternal salvation, we are not judged on someone else’s account or the standard in which they lived their lives.

Authentic and mature spirituality requires us to leave our childhood faith to claim personal ownership and conviction to our individual response to the question; by what faith and reason have I come to believe in a Loving God?

The question begs continual contemplation and if fruitful will lead to continual conversion throughout all phases of one’s life. To do otherwise is to be content with a thought-less life journey in “practical atheism.”

By what faith and reason are you convicted that there is a Loving God?