How does one become poor in spirit, …answer me that!
Now, when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them. He said: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt 5:1-3)
Instead of what people say about heaven, Jesus preached it is available to you and me in the “here and now.” Not simply as some future payback earned for good behavior or good standing in the eyes of men, but by our consent to participate with Divine Presence within each moment of our lives. It is an ongoing invitation and response of free will.
Still, the first beatitude has puzzled me since childhood. Are we not called to be filled with the Spirit?
Hard circumstances of these past few years pointed me to the contemplative traditions of the Church to which I have gained a deeper meaning into what it means to be “poor in spirit.”
I take from the writings of Christian mystics such as John Cassian, Benedict of Nursia, Theresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Meister Ekhart, Teilhard de Chardin, Thomas Merton, and others. I’ve also studied the contemplative practices of Centering Prayer, Christian Meditation, and Mindfulness.
These spiritual masters offer insight into spiritual questions that the modern Church struggles to articulate and much less practice. The Spanish Carmelite priest, St. John of the Cross (1542-1591) was a close spiritual associate with Theresa of Avila and her efforts at reforming the Carmelite community. They are both considered Doctors of the Church. John of the Cross wrote Dark Night of the Soul, Ascent of Mount Carmel, and the Spiritual Canticle.
After reading St. John’s Spiritual Canticle, I was stunned. Following are the specific lines that left me with a profound sense of personal communion and shared wellspring from which he wrote.
In the Old Testament, the bull symbolized the pagan god Baal. The bull and its violent act of goring are metaphors for much in this world, which destroys life.
The butterfly is a Greek symbol of the soul: that which gives life. Its metaphor represents life (caterpillar), death (chrysalis), and resurrected life (butterfly). It also represents our Christian life in the model of Christ’s passion, death, and resurrection.
Soul – Our Truest Self
“At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and by illusion, a point of pure truth, a point or spark which belongs entirely to God, which is never at our disposal, from which God disposes of our lives, which is inaccessible to the fantasies of our mind or the brutalities of our own will. This little point of nothingness and of absolute poverty is the pure glory of God in us.
It is so to speak His name written in us, as our poverty, as our indigence, as our dependence, as our sonship. It is like a pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of heaven. It is in everybody, and if we could see it we would see these billion points of light coming together in the face and blaze of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely.” (Merton)
Grief is too precious to waste
What follows is a deeply personal letter I wrote some twenty-two years ago to a small group of men and women who were experiencing deep loss and grief. With just a few minor changes, it is just as relevant today as it was back then.
I would like to share a quote that I recently read, ” My experience of grief is that you can take little sips of it, like very fine wine, and let go of it”.
It is at this place I find myself, and I feel it proper to no longer have an ‘active role in the Beginning Experience ministry. I have not perfectly overcome all the hurts but I carry with me: acceptance of the past, forgiveness of myself and my ex-spouse, trust in God’s Love for me and my children, and a personal freedom to live my life in the present and love again. I am confident that when this time arrives for each of us, it is truly “the good news”.
Even though I am comfortable with this decision, leaving the team is not easy for me. I have been blessed, immeasurably, during my time in this ministry.
When I reflect back over the past two years and consider what my relationship with each of you has meant to me, and my children, I thank God, especially … for bringing each of you into my life. These past two years have been an awesome period in my life. I have grown emotionally and spiritually and it is impossible for me to think of you separate from this.
I have experienced, for the first time, a kind of intimacy that I believe only reveals itself when two of God’s people, are willing to open themselves, reach out, and share themselves and their vulnerability with each other. To me, this is agape love.
Each one of you is a very special person. Participating in this ministry requires a willingness to look within oneself with the courage to face what we find, and share it with others. It is a giving of self that is difficult. It brings us closer to our humanity and to our God. It is a personal character trait that, I believe, fulfills at least in part God’s call to each of us. I personally admire each of you.
The phone calls, personal conversations, the cards, and most especially the hugs, have kept me lifted up during the most difficult time in my life and it will always be remembered.
The fellowship, shared in small group, hold a special place in my heart. I feel an extra-special relationship with each of you. I am grateful that you gave me your trust. Your thoughts expressed in your warm fuzzies were kind. I read them from time to time. It helps me to remember you and it never fails to lift me up. Thank you.
Once when I was sick in bed with the flu, a team member took it upon herself to prepare and send me some soup. When it arrived, her act of kindness and concern touched my heart and brought a tear to my eyes. Her act reflects the good and caring person that she is. Beyond the physical nourishment of the soup, it helped me realize that I am worthy of being cared for. I would say her name, but she knows who she is. Thank You.
To the special person that I have often asked for help in critiquing my talks for the weekend, thank you for your directness, honesty, and being there when I needed you.
To the two facilitators who invited me to the team. I have foremost given my best to follow the vision of this spiritual peer ministry. Without your invitation, these last two years would have been very different for me. I came to you at a time when I was struggling with many personal doubts. You helped me see and accept something about myself that is good.
Lastly, I want to thank all the clergy who involve themselves in this ministry. Their expression of humility, love, and commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ, have been an inspiration for me.
To my brothers and sisters, It is my prayer that each of you continues to give of yourself in ministry and always be reminded that our strength and healing lie in Jesus. May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with all of you.
A Community of Saints
We do not walk alone. Amongst us, there is a mystical community of saints, a community of souls who convoke healing by giving and receiving compassion in this valley of tears. It is a much deeper meaning of the Church. And, if you are reading this, you are in this communion.
We are body and soul and do not escape the angst of many (small) deaths throughout life. Up until our final breath, recovery remains a hard walk that requires mostly inner work of “letting go” of illusion in exchange for more profound truths. Once received and honored, one can know his or her “truest” identity to experience joy and be a source of life for others: in the divine image. I know of no other way to satisfy that longing that we all carry in our hearts.
“Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” P. Chodron
I’ve reached a point where I cannot overcome that remaining 2% of angst that life has brought me. It is a place to which has no rationale or justice. In other words, the bull has finally tired and shaken me loose.
I can now join with Christ on the cross and give that remaining remnant of angst to the Supreme Source and Giver of Life for the promise of new life.
This is my path forward and the faith and hope in Jesus Christ to which I will cling.
Where can (or does) my relationship with the Beloved move beyond the limits of my own thoughts, emotions, doings and cross over into unity with the mind of Christ?
I study and meditate on scripture which is a mindful act prayer. I vocalize prayer both private and public which is a mental act of the my thoughts, emotions, and tongue. And sometimes the work of my hands are a prayer. But when do I “set aside” and consent to listen and hear the voice of the Beloved?? There are moments of grace when I sense the Wisdom of God’s Spirit although it is most often in hindsight. And then I think it only happens when it is so loud that it has to overpower the dominating chatter of my ego and its thoughts. What I do know is that it is far too easy for me to believe that “my mind” is the Mind of Christ – which it is not.
In my prayer, I am more inclined to the doing, the thinking, the talking, and the one in charge rather than consenting to the presence of the Beloved.
God’s presence is available at every moment, but we have a giant obstacle in ourselves – our worldview; which our Christian faith calls us to exchange for the mind of Christ – for His worldview. It requires a discipline that develops the sensitivity to hear Christ’s invitation: “Behold I stand at the door and knock; if anyone opens I will come in and sup with him and he with me” (Rev 3:20).
Why is it such a big effort to open the door?
Having first experienced the presence of the Indwelling Spirit as a teenager, I have never lost the sense and acknowledgment of the presence and influence of God’s Spirit in my person and life. I’ve never felt abandoned even “…in spite of myself.” But I usually fail to “see” or be in touch with the activity and the moment that God is constantly initiating at my inmost center of pure being.
Anyone who has lived enough years know that hard events in life happen and can waken us: to a letting go of attachments, false assumptions, illusions, and certain self-identifications. These hard events either harden or soften us: blinds us, or deepens our vision. I am convinced that to walk with Christ through life’s passions will allow me to see resurrected (new) life. The recent and combined loss of my marriage and vocational ministry within the Church has been such an event. The grief is and was the deepest and I am determined that it not be wasted.
The rebuilding of my life propels me to seek a deeper understanding of contemplation and solitude. It is a personal recognition and reminder of my “unknowing” and need to live in that awareness more deeply. This for me takes cultivation and perseverance. And I recognize it all as gift and Grace. The excitement of my life is learning how to unwrap this valuable gift.
For many years I have struggled with the predominate form of prayer which relies on words being spoken. Spoken words seems to be the automatic response when someone in a group says “Let’s pray.” If what God has to say is infinitely more valuable than what I (or others) have to say, shouldn’t silencing ourselves be a more fruitful response?
Spoken words require an act of the mind. And the actions of our mind is a product of many things but (almost) always a projection of our self, our emotions and worldview. This is not a bad thing, but if I am doing most of the thinking and talking, where do I allow space, consent and the wakening of my soul for God’s Spirit? How deep can a relationship go if I am doing most of the thinking and doing and failing to give consent, time and space for “Other?”
At least for me there is a tendency to fall into a way of relating to God as though God is “out there” and separate from me – Which is contrary to scripture. Even the many words and vocalizations we use in prayer point to a God who is “out there” and that can be manipulated by our petitions. And believing that more words and petitions release more of God’s love on us. That, I believe, points to the limitation of words to express the infinite.
My holy desire brings me to the life-long work of Fr. Thomas Keating and the practice of centering prayer. Largely in response to the 1962-65 Second Vatican Council’s call to religious orders for renewal, Keating and fellow Cistercian monks Fr. W Meninger and Fr. B Pennington (1931-2005), worked together in the 1970s to develop a contemplative prayer method that drew on ancient traditions but would be readily accessible to the modern world. Fr. Keating has written many related books but the title “Open Mind, Open Heart,” covers the practice of Centering Prayer (see book recommendations).
Centering prayer is a contemporary name for the practice that Jesus refers to as “prayer in secret” in the Sermon on the Mount (Matt 6:6):
“But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
Christian Wisdom tradition, especially of the Desert Fathers and Mothers of the fourth century, interpreted this saying of Jesus as referring to the movement from ordinary psychological movement (mindfulness) to the interior silence of the spiritual level of our being (heartfulness) and beyond that, to the secrecy of the union with the Divine Indwelling. In other words, letting go of all personal agendas, expectations, and desires for divine consolations, psychological breakthroughs, and self-reflections of any kind. More recent contemplatives are John Cassian, Frances de Sales, Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Therese of Lisieux, and Thomas Merton.
What is different about centering prayer is a withdrawal of our attention from ordinary flow of thoughts.
Centering prayer suggest a practical method of entering our “inner room” by deliberately letting go of external concerns symbolized by closing our eyes and consenting to the presence and action of God within. The centering prayer method responds to this invitation:
By consenting to God’s presence and action within.
By surrendering our will completely to God.
By relating to God who dwells in secret, which is the silence of self.
This form of prayer is not superior nor does it replace other forms of prayer. It is simply another facet of one’s prayer life. I continue to pray through my internal thoughts of Scripture and dialogue with the Beloved and with spoken words in public and in private. My heart is still directed to serve the People of God.
In my home I have a comfortable place to sit and enter into 15 min of Centering Prayer with the following excerpt from Ps 22. I close with the Divine Office:
To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul, my God, in you I trust, … Make known to me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me by your fidelity and teach me, for you are God my savior, for you I wait all the day long (Ps 22)
One of the first things one realizes when practicing centering prayer is the constant bombardment of mental thoughts. It is how the brain works so I do not think it negatively but, … it does make me wonder how much of my interactions, words, and relationships are influenced by this constant mental bombardment. I am just a beginner of centering prayer but feel this adds a missing component to my relationship with the Beloved. In a strange way it is not more, but less.
See 1 John 4:13-16 Ps. Father Keating passed a couple of years ago at age 95. The website he founded is www.contemplativeoutreach.org. There is also an app that can be downloaded to a smartphone. I use as a timer during the dedicated centering prayer period. I find it useful.
ps. The featured image of Jesus at Prayer was taken at the Jesuit Retreat Center in Sedalia, CO
“Every moment of every event of every man’s life on earth plants something in his soul.”
Thomas Merton
Several decades ago, I came across this old wisdom tale. it continues to influence me especially when difficult things happen. It’s underlying message points to what it means to be a contemplative.
One day in late summer, an old farmer was working in his field with his old sick horse. The farmer felt compassion for the horse and desired to lift its burden. So he left his horse loose to go the mountains and live out the rest of its life.
Soon after, neighbors from the nearby village visited, offering their condolences and said, “What a shame. Now your only horse is gone. How unfortunate you are!. You must be very sad. How will you live, work the land, and prosper?” The farmer replied: “Who knows? We shall see”.
Two days later the old horse came back now rejuvenated after meandering in the mountainsides while eating the wild grasses. He came back with twelve new younger and healthy horses which followed the old horse into the corral.
Word got out in the village of the old farmer’s good fortune and it wasn’t long before people stopped by to congratulate the farmer on his good luck. “How fortunate you are!” they exclaimed. You must be very happy!” Again, the farmer softly said, “Who knows? We shall see.”
At daybreak on the next morning, the farmer’s only son set off to attempt to train the new wild horses, but the farmer’s son was thrown to the ground and broke his leg. One by one villagers arrived during the day to bemoan the farmer’s latest misfortune. “Oh, what a tragedy! Your son won’t be able to help you farm with a broken leg. You’ll have to do all the work yourself, How will you survive? You must be very sad”. they said. Calmly going about his usual business the farmer answered, “Who knows? We shall see”
Several days later a war broke out. The Emperor’s men arrived in the village demanding that young men come with them to be conscripted into the Emperor’s army. As it happened the farmer’s son was deemed unfit because of his broken leg. “What very good fortune you have!!” the villagers exclaimed as their own young sons were marched away. “You must be very happy.” “Who knows? We shall see!”, replied the old farmer as he headed off to work his field alone.
As time went on the broken leg healed but the son was left with a slight limp. Again the neighbors came to pay their condolences. “Oh what bad luck. Too bad for you”! But the old farmer simply replied; “Who knows? We shall see.”
As it turned out the other young village boys had died in the war and the old farmer and his son were the only able bodied men capable of working the village lands. The old farmer became wealthy and was very generous to the villagers. They said: “Oh how fortunate we are, you must be very happy”, to which the old farmer replied, “Who knows? We shall see!”
ps.
It is human nature to label things and experiences in life then judge it either good or bad. It’s how our minds tend to function. Contemplative thinking requires a conscious effort to avoid what I (or others) judge as good or bad. If we believe in a transcendent, loving Creator, then we can be secure that we are simply not the final determinant of Eternal Truth, or Reality. Instead:
We hold faith in the love of God which seeks us in every situation, and seeks our good.
And when I fail to keep joy and grief on equal footing in my journey of transformation toward who the Beloved created me to be, …I am to catch and remind myself:For it is God’s love that warms me in the sun and God’s love that sends the cold rain.
“Who knows? We shall see!”
May I always seek and choose hard truth over lies, illusions and fantasies.
Have you ever experienced something so devastating in life that once past the immediate pain was able to recognize the gift of new life and the sweet security of God’s insight and wisdom?
Ever stop and wonder who was around to write down the conversation between Jesus and the devil in the desert?
“If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” And Jesus answers: “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” (Matt 4:3)
Most scholars indicate Matthew was (re)framing the Israelite failure to overcome their temptations during their Exodus in the desert. In Matthew, Jesus does not fail. He knows who he is and trust in the Father’s will for his life.
We too are tempted on our desert journey. In this life we face constant temptation to grab for the lessor things which can never fill us: sensual pleasures, power, and honor.
The good news is that we come by this biblical truth without ever reading scripture. We have received our “first translation” of God’s Word simply by listening to God’s Spirit throughout our own lived experiences.
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Lent is a time to wake up – again. Yet, Lent (for me) is also a time of contradiction. Perhaps it is a byproduct of the Mardi Gras culture in which
I grew up.
I remember as a young child my mother taking us kids – to a local Mardi Gras parade. I would see people on the float throwing trinkets and desperately wanting some for myself, but was too introverted to even raise my hand and frantically yell “throw me something.” It took me many years to realize that was the necessary behavior for people on the floats to throw something my way.
When I was 17, I tagged along with my uncle to Mardi Gras in New Orleans. We had to scheme a lie to my parents for their approval to let me go. Some of the things I saw are still seared in memory. I do not regret going but once was enough. It was my first glimpse of this world’s level of craziness.
Nowadays, Mardi Gras is even bigger. Local newspapers and TV begin their promotion weeks in advance, showing pictures of all the Carnival Royalty and their Courts. The white folk get their promotions and the blacks get theirs. Civic leaders do their similar promotions since the more people who participate over the weeks that come to the various parades and parties spend money in town. The Mardi Gras flag flies at City Hall. Hotels and restaurants are making money and sending their tax receipts to government. Bakeries and donut shops are selling thousands of king cakes, with or without the baby. Even Fedex and UPS get to play.
Come Ash Wednesday, the promoted debauchery is over. Media now promotes where you can donate all the beads that you clamored for but never really wanted. There is even a front page article to show where you can go get your holy ashes in a drive thru. Before the week is over the local media now shifts to promoting the message that during lent “Seafood is King.” Restaurants advertise their Friday Lenten menu of meat abstinence: Fried and etoufee Shrimp, Crawfish, and Catfish: po-boys and plate lunches. It’s our opportunity to fast on Friday. Even the Knights of Columbus selling fried catfish dinners over eating meat on Friday.
Its all about worshiping our great idols.
A week into Lent, and our local newspaper runs a front page
article of our Lt. Governor pardoning a crawfish for its sins. How cute is
that?
Mardi Gras is history and soon Lent will be over. Next up: Easter season. We can go to Walmart or Hobby Lobby and purview all the pastel Easter decorations that are available to spice up our homes. Something to put us in “the spirit.” And tons of chocolate rabbits and baskets of candy for our children.
Today is the business of corporate executives in our consumer society to assure advertising and merchandise for the next (commercial) holiday is on its way for our consumption. Or, as we find ourselves in the old traditional “Courir de Mardi Gras,” …we hide our faces and keep chasing the rooster.
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“Our noise, our business, our purposes, and all our fatuous statements about our purposes, our business, and our noise, … these are the illusion.”.
Thomas Merton
I do not automatically abstain for Lent but this year I need less consumption of this world’s noise which only distracts me from God’s Word for my life. I also need to be “less noise” for others. The latter is most difficult
ps. The title of this reflection “Tabgha” which is the name of an area situated on the north-western shore of the Sea of Galilee in Israel. It is traditionally accepted as the place of the miracle of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes (Mark 6:30-46) and the fourth resurrection appearance of Jesus (John 21:1-24) after his Crucifixion.
The site’s name (Tabgha) is derived from the Greek name Heptapegon (“seven springs”). Its was eventually changed to “Tabgha” by Arabic speakers. St. Jerome referred to Heptapegon as “the solitude.”
The featured art is a representation of the mosaics in front of the altar at the Church of the Multiplication of the Loaves and Fishes, at Tabgha Israel. The charred rock is where tradition says Jesus ate fish with his disciples after the resurrection (see below).
“The most important thing of all is to get some realization of what God is doing in your soul.”
Thomas Merton, What is Contemplation?
In a recent course on Christology, the class was asked to respond to the following question:
Identify the most important information contained in the gospels that bear on the incarnation of Jesus Christ.
I was quite excited about this because it offered me a chance to share an insight from something I heard from a Scott Hahn lecture on the gospel of John. Below was my response to the class assignment:
The virginal conception reveals that in his divine nature,…Jesus has only God as his father. It reveals that he is the natural son of God so he is fully divine.
At the same time, he’s born of the Virgin Mary. So he receives his human nature from Mary, his mother. So he is naturally the son of his mother.
In other words, Jesus is (NATURALLY) the son of the Father, according to his divine nature, and he is (NATURALLY) the son of his mother Mary, according to his human nature. Fully human, …Fully divine.
The virgin birth speaks of Jesus Christ in whom is united full deity and full humanity – and the atoning action of (full deity and full humanity) on the cross for the reparation of the broken covenant.
Surprisingly, I received quite a bit of push-back from my classmates who were challenging my use of the word “naturally.”
Classmate 1
I get your point but I think we need to be very careful in the use of the word “naturally.” As Jesus was begotten which is of course not natural perhaps it would be better to say He is undeniably Son of God and son of Mary.
Classmate 2
When I read your post I thought of the word”supernatural” when it came to the incarnation. Something”natural” in the spiritual realm, such as an action of the Holy Spirit with the Blessed Mother, strikes me as “supernatural.” CCC1998/1722 defines supernatural as surpassing the power of created beings; a result of God’s gracious initiative.
To my further dismay, my two professors failed to defend or clarify the issue as it is supported by Church teaching (CCC 503), as follows:
Jesus has only God as Father. “He was never estranged from the Father because of the human nature which he assumed . . . . He is naturally Son of the Father as to his divinity and naturally son of his mother as to his humanity, but properly Son of the Father in both natures.”
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I am sure every one has moments when someone shares an innovative perspective on some issue and it cause you to realize, “I never thought about it that way.” It resets the mental or spiritual point of view to a fresh way to see and understand. Well, that is what Scott Hahn’s comment along with its validation in the catechism about the mystical conception of the Incarnate Word: Jesus Christ, did for me.
Contrary to the groupthink of my classmates and professor, I held my ground. I suspect there is a reason the Church uses the term “naturally” equally to both the full divinity and humanity of Jesus Christ. Supernatural and Natural suggest two radically distinguished realms: one of the created order and the other of God; one of nature and the other of grace. In essence, supernatural suggest a sphere of reality that is sharply opposed to nature suggesting a stark duality in Christ and ignoring our able participation with the universal divine immanence in humanity and in the creation.
This may all seem a bit foolish or abstract so I will get to the point: The words we choose to communicate are simply pointers that direct our intellectual reasoning. When our reasoning is misdirected so is our walk in faith and contemplation of Truth.
As scripture points us to faith of being created in the image or likeness to God. So, to what ever degree we get God “wrong,” we get ourselves “wrong.” When we divide God into parts, we also divide (or fracture) ourselves into parts. This is the condition for sin in our lives and simply not our true identity In Christ, With Christ, and Through Christ.
Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If any one destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and that temple you are. (1 Cor 3:16-17)
Phillip Sherrad’s “Christian Understanding of Man,” unpacks it well:
[M]an is not merely other than God, irreducibly alien to God, but is on the contrary the specific expression of God’s creative energy and participates in this energy as a condition of having any existence whatsoever. Grace, that is to say, is not something extrinsic, not something added to man’s nature; it is inherent in the conditions of his birth…the idea of divine immanence – of the indwelling of God in the creature is foreshadowed…In this thought the presentiment of the immanence of the divine principle is expressed above all through the concept of participation.
With a confidence that God is With Us, let us meditate upon a most important thing of all:
to get some realization of what God is doing in our soul. Not what I am doing but what God is doing.
It is the action verb that precedes our proclamation:
My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour
The featured image is from the icon of the Annunciation that I wrote a few years back. I am particularly drawn to the representation of Jesus positioned near the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Allow it to help you see this same “Christ-mystery” indwelling within you.
In a recent sermon by Dr. Charles Stanley he said something that piqued my spiritual curiosity. He said that when we call someone a fool it is an expression of our anger. I had never connected the two. In research, I found that scripture speaks about fools and foolish behavior from many different angles, but in Matt 5:20-23, Jesus says;
“For I tell you, if your uprightness does not surpass that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never get into the kingdom of Heaven.
You have heard how it was said to our ancestors, You shall not kill; and if anyone does kill he must answer for it before the court. But I say this to you, anyone who is angry with a brother will answer for it before the court; anyone who calls a brother “Fool” will answer for it before the Sanhedrin; and anyone who calls him “Traitor” will answer for it in hell fire.”
The overall context of this scripture is about the sin of holding anger against another person. What hooked my attention is that for some reason that I had yet figured, the word “cluck” had insidiously entered my vocabulary. My subconscious swapped the word “cluck” to describe people whom I judge as “fool.” And, if I apply creative liberty to Shakespeare;
What’s in a name? that who we call a “fool”
By any other name would smell as sour;
Cluck and fool mean the same. I say insidious because to call someone a fool comes across as too arrogant and prideful especially since I claim my worst sins in life as “foolish mistakes.” Foolish mistakes (rather than sins) suggest that there is something to be learned and not repeated and believe I have come that far. So to outright judge and label someone as a fool is to be forgetful of my own history. But calling someone a “cluck” (for me) was OK and rather humorous thereby slipping by my moral sensibilities. Until now.
The root of calling someone a fool to be anger caused me to introspect. I do not think of myself as an angry person in fact I consider myself awfully tolerant of my own mistakes and that of others. But I am highly critical when I experience false words and actions in others. I am acutely sensitive to this in myself and I am sure this internal struggle shows itself through external actions and relationships with others. Even if I cannot easily recognize it.
Thomas Merton in his book “The Ascent To Truth,” goes on to say that, the success or failure of a man’s spiritual life depends on the clarity with which he is able to see and judge the motives of his moral acts. To use a term canonized by ascetic tradition, the first step to sanctity is self knowledge.
I consider my curiosity of things to be my greatest personal strength. I am always drive to ask or understand the “Why?” of things. It keeps me exploring, developing, and learning. I have been told that I go more deeply in thought than the average person. At the same time, I also think too highly of my intellect. Broad knowledge and deep thinking is certainly good but it is also a pitfall in nurturing a “pride of intellect” to which I must confront. Thomas Merton has characterized this sin, as the sin of …being a “Pharisee of Knowledge.” I get this.
To keep all this in perspective, I do believe there is a ying/yang aspect to our personality. Our personal strengths and weaknesses are intertwined and do not exist without the other. One seems to motivate the other. This is a gift and I try to be accepting of it.
On another point, Merton states that the greatest problem (in the spiritual life) is not in being able to identify the obvious evil mistakes (sins) in our life’s actions. Mine come readily and fortunately I have passed through Reconciliation and able to release their stranglehold of guilt and shame from my life. But to identify and unmask any of the “little” things that appear justified as good, that which Merton calls “disordered impulses” that seem at first to be spiritual and aimed at the highest good, but are at its root sinful – is never easy.
To consider spiritual areas of desired growth in my personhood, I only have to identify what I believe to be the strength of my person and ask; “What drives my desire for the good of knowledge and new experience?” A truthful response will expose its underbelly. And, this is a fertile ground for growth in the spiritual life.
So when I consider someone a ‘cluck” it may seem like a small, insignificant, and humorous act (to me) but it is not. It is rooted in my own harsh act of judging myself and others.
If I am truly desiring acceptance of God’s Will for my life, I am to imitate “Abba (who is) is a life giver, …never a destroyer.”
The featured image of a true “cluck” was done at a recent watercolor workshop.
I typically do not memorize quotes but one that has stuck with me is “No Man is an Island,” which is a book title by Trappist Monk Thomas Merton. My ego likes to convince me that I am independent and can stand alone but this is a lie. Merton’s quote continues to check my ego. Truth is that I need others not only to survive, but thrive.
In a broader sense that is true for all of us, if it were not for societies and organizations we would live a very limited existence. We observe others and we learn by living with others and by living like them. We ought not discount the value of secular society with its own government and leaders nor in the spiritual realm of church, as the People of God, which is also constituted as a society governed by church leaders.
Our instinctual desire and need to belong has its blessings as well as disadvantages. Fortunately, we do not gain eternal damnation due to the sins of others and less so, do we gain eternal life because of another. Each individual needs to work out his own personal identity and salvation. So what are we to do as individuals within a society or corporate body when the actions of its leadership or membership goes against the gospel?
To illustrate, …you are a mid-level manager and long time employee of a company. In a few more years you will be eligible for a retirement pension. You find out that for years your beloved company has been dumping toxic chemicals in a river that supplies drinking water for a community. When this becomes public it also exposes a corporate cover up. The criminal act and corporate deception violates your own ethos. What do you do? You yourself have done no wrong but since you are a member of the corporate body, you are complicit in its sickness. What is your course of action, …where does your subservience or obedience to corporate leadership lay?
Now, whether in the secular or spiritual realm, it is hardly a moot issue for St Paul in 1 Cor 12:25-26 states, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. To act as though we are clean members and others are dirty members changes nothing. Corporate sickness, committed by a few, covers all its members.
Have you ever wondered why an organization or institutional culture is the way it is, even though everyone acknowledges that it needs to change? It is simple, it is the way it is because the people who have the authority to change it – do not want to change it. It is foolish to think that the leadership which created the culture and chooses to maintain the status quo has any will or ability to change it. The primary act of an institution is to protect itself, even those who profess to exist only to do good works.
Authentic leadership is about, “walking the talk,” and not “talking the walk.” I am quite convinced that “Everything rises or falls on leadership. When leadership fails it first tries shift blame or focus elsewhere. And until the culture holds leadership accountable to walk the walk, before talking – nothing changes.
Regarding obedience, I was once asked two questions, the first, “Does obedience come easy for you, or is it a struggle?” My response was that my obedience is a constant struggle.
To the second question, “To whom would you say you are obedient, and how? I responded in the following:
In an autocratic hierarchy, obedience is viewed as a top down expectation from superior to subordinate as though it is a one way street. In truth and justice, obedience is a two way street which holds equal responsibility regardless of position held in hierarchy. Obedience to authority has it place but it also has its limit and can be evidenced by Jesus’ challenge to the secular and religious authorities of his day.
Personally, I accept that obedience is necessary within institutional hierarchy and governance. Its absence usually means chaos. My father’s autocratic parenting as well as my military service was a good lesson and went far in keeping me safe and helping me to mature. Although, as I have grown, I’ve learned that Servant Leadership, rather than autocratic leadership is a higher form in which to aspire. It is (by far) more difficult to exercise but, by all accounts it is the form of service we see by Jesus in the gospels.
Whether one is a corporate superior or subordinate, the first step to understanding “healthy” obedience is to give primacy to the gospel allowing it to conform our life and actions to Christ. And yes, it will come with the cross.
I’ll close with a reference from St. John Paul II, “When a person is touched by the Word, …obedience is born, that is listening, … which changes life” (Orientale lumen 10).
Here the pope is not saying “Shut up and follow my Orders!” he is saying, “Listen to the Word of God, and you will fulfill your vow of obedience.”
My response; “Wow!”
There is a natural laziness that moves us to accept the easiest solutions in life. In the secular example above, it is easiest to be silent and subservient to institutional power and the cultural group think. On the other hand, it takes a great courage (that does not come easy) to live obedient to the gospel of Jesus Christ. But this is our baptism call.
The featured image is a collage representing my struggle to not become lost in any aspect of corporate culture that fails the gospel.
