A facade (ie false face) is a form of personality change that is performed to fulfill a particular emotion you wish to portray. When people put up facades, they are acting on the outside differently than how they are feeling on the inside.
Let’s consider the proclamation of the Apostle Peter, his relationship with Jesus and brother disciples at Caeserea Philipi (Matthew 16:13-20, Mark 8:27–30 and Luke 9:18–20).
“You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
Below is a historical rendering of Caeserea Philippi during Jesus’ time. It is where Jesus ask Peter and others, “Who do you say that I am?” It is located in northern Galilee at the headwaters of the Jordan. It was a historical place of worship to the pagan deity Baal, then to the Greek god Pan, and then to Caesar.
Regardless of how one feels about Scripture, we can find our personal and collective humanity in it. And if we choose, there is Wisdom to be drawn.
After leaving Caesarea Philippi they head south to Jerusalem for Passover. Again, on the day before Jesus’ death – Peter reaffirms who Jesus was to him, and declares his loyalty, “Even though I must die with you, I will not deny you.” And so said all the disciples (Matt 26:35)
Peter maybe fooled himself, and his brotherhood but not Jesus. In the courtyard Peter is held to account, he rejects Jesus, even curses and swears an oath, …and the cock crows
In all our abstract religiosity and idealistic sensibilities, it is not always easy to think of Peter (and Jesus) every bit human as you and I. Yet in this biblical episode of Jesus, Peter and the disciples there is a microcosm of our own personal and institutional character, …that willfully says one thing but does the opposite. Often in darkness and harmful to those we say we love.
Ten years ago, my corporate employer of 22 years decided to eliminate and outsource 25% of the company jobs. I was 1 of 1000 people to be severed from employment. The day after getting the news, the local boss comes to my office to show compassion and regret. He said that he would certainly give me a positive referral in my application for a new job. We shook hands as he left my office. He always presented himself as an honest, churchgoing, bible believing Christian. He even kept an open bible on his office credenza (something I would not have had the courage to do). Through 22 years, I had never seen anything to disbelieve his word.
Shortly after, another job position opened in the local office and I applied. It was essentially the same job I held for the first 12 years of my employment. In the interview, I was asked “What do you feel were some of your major accomplishments?” Three of the four interviewers knew me personally and of my accomplishments. I felt a bit foolish in verbalizing what were by company standards, a half-dozen well noted technical and leadership accomplishments including one project that earned the highest corporate award the “Chairman’s Award.” Besides, they were listed on my interview resume.
Rather, I replied that I felt that my biggest accomplishment was hiring good and talented people who contributed much to the success of the company. This was sincere. But it was not what I felt was my highest accomplishment which for me was not patronizing corporate egos nor subordinating my integrity for personal or social benefit.
The interview panel recommended me for the open position including the manager I would have worked under. I did not get the job. They were over-ruled by the very same man who with a straight face sat in front of me, promised a positive job referral and sealed it with his handshake. It was confirmed as a political hack and the “dirty deed” was disguised and hidden in the dark.
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It is a hard lesson when one’s trust in another person (or one’s illusion of future life) is broken. There is a loss. And a time for deep grief, …to accept and feel the pangs of betrayal and its grief: which is best when sipped like fine wine. There is a passage to make, but it is just that: a “passage” not a destination. We are to keep walking our journey to the Beloved albeit with greater clarity of Truth. It is in these events of suffering, death, and resurrection that I am most easily convicted to the path of life-giving demonstrated in Jesus Christ and his gospel. It is my chosen journey of faith in the Beloved where there is life after death, even the little deaths we face in our earthly life. I have experienced it many times and it is available for all who choose their heart and eyes to see it.
And when one proclaims to know Christ, there is an obligation to follow truth and justice in his example and teachings. And knowing that we all fail throughout life, let’s go back to Peter and Jesus in the courtyard. There is a point in Luke’s account after Peter’s third denial when Peter says, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about!” he curses and swears and oath!
Then the cock crows and “The Lord turned and looked at Peter (Lk 22:60).
Now imagine yourself in the scene, …what thoughts and human emotions would you see communicated on Jesus face? And Peter’s face?
In Jesus, I see and feel deep anguish of being betrayed and abandoned by someone he deeply loved. In Peter, the felt sense of shame. There is a sense of human broken-ness.
This is the interior place of my “unresolved” emotions and thought. I often wonder if those persons who have acted in such a way as to cause harm to my person ever reflect on their actions. I imagine a dialogue with them to ask, Why? Not so much to forgive but to understand. And perhaps a sort of acknowledgment. I am sure this moment will not happen in reality. At least not in this lifetime.
The only glimmer of understanding I can bring to it is that when we harm others, it is sourced from our woundedness – and we are all wounded in some way. It is the way of the world. Psychology tells us that when we fail to acknowledge our own pain and woundedness we are blind to it and most easily project it onto others. I believe this a universal truth of our broken humanity and part of the world we live – for which I am also complicit.
When I pray the Lord’s prayer there is the part “and forgive us our trespass” that I personalize to “and forgive my trespass.” It is my way to acknowledge and pray for those whom I have harmed through my own faults and to which I am blind and not yet acknowledged. I pray for “their” strength to forgive me since they may never hear my sorrow or see my reparation for the harm I have caused to their person.
At this point in the biblical narrative, Peter’s story is unfinished. We see in Peter an aspect of divine therapy for healing: and act of acknowledgement and sorrow.
Then Peter remembered what Jesus had said: Before the cock crows, you will deny me three times. And he (Peter) went out and wept bitterly
Jesus does not abandon Peter to himself, or to the netherworld. We read in John 21 that after Jesus’ death on the cross the disciples return to Galilee and they go out at night to fish. At daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach and called them in. After breakfast, Jesus repeatedly asked of Simon Peter,
“Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him three times. He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.“
And there we hear the ongoing penance for you, me and the church:
“If you love me, feed my sheep!”
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ps. My own art, featured at the top of this blog, is simple but full of symbolism. It was crafted somewhat by accident but after it was done, I immediately connected with it. In religious tradition, the rooster is most symbolic to Peter’s denial.
The historical legend is that Pope Nicholas (in the 9th century) decreed that all churches must display the rooster on their steeples or domes as a symbol of Peter’s betrayal of Jesus. Many Catholic churches especially in France and other locales with Francophone connections have a rooster atop the church steeple. Including our local cathedral.
Reflection question: Do you find yourself having to put on a mask (ie. false face) before God or before other people? How influenced are you by your false self (the ego self that we often identify with that is in constant need of approval and affirmation and is motivated by these needs?
