2018 - - Page 3

For Those Who Wish It

“Do not say: It is impossible to receive the Holy Spirit. Do not say: Human beings do not see divine light; this is very possible for those who wish it.”

St. Symeon, The New Theologian

As a naïve and imaginative twelve year old, I gave my life to Christ and when I did – I felt flushed with the Holy Spirit. It was at my Confirmation. I can recall the place and experience as though it was yesterday. Ever since, I’ve never doubted the existence of a power greater than myself, …at work in my life.

As our teachers prepared us for Confirmation, two biblical stories captured my imagination; that of Solomon and his noted wisdom (1 Kings 3:5) and the Upper Room event on the Jewish Feast of Pentecost (Acts 2).

Great emphasis was placed on the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit (wisdom, understanding, knowledge, counsel, piety, fortitude, and fear of the Lord). For whatever reason, I thought we could ask for and receive “only” one of seven gifts of the Holy Spirit. I chose Wisdom.

It was an easy choice for if I chose Wisdom, like Solomon, I would also have a pretty good chance for riches and long life. Kinda like three for the price of one. (note: I may have been young and naiive, but not stupid.)

The evening of Confirmation was a significant experience for me. That night, I made a conscious choice to give my life to Christ, …to be his disciple and willing to die for it. This is certainly heady stuff for a twelve year old but when I committed to this, I felt such a rush of something come over me.

Now, I do not claim to know what the Holy Spirit feels like and I must say that I do not ignore the possibility that what I felt was temporal emotions but I did experience something. Within my belief system, I attribute it to God’s Spirit acting and operating upon and within me, …no differently than what the Apostles experienced on that first Pentecost after Jesus’ death.

Some fifty years later, I can recall nearly a half dozen events in my life where the Grace of the Holy Spirit has convicted me of its presence and power. I hope to write on these events, as time goes.

I have never stopped asking God for Wisdom and have never failed to be blessed by it. I simply await patiently. It is not some super mental power that elevates me above anyone else. I sense it more to be enlightened understanding of the mind of Christ’s teaching as it portends to salvation and to being. It is no doubt a divine gift that is absolute good, but admittedly, there are moments when I’ve felt it as burden since it blows apart my neat little world of right and wrong, should be and should not be, worthy and unworthy. God’s love shatters my worldview of reward and punishment. It never feels as the easier path in life.

For many years, I’ve thought my Confirmation experience was common to every one else. From what people tell me, most have not had any special experience to recall. I have always wondered why. Maybe it was my childhood gullibility to believe what adults told me coupled with my imagination. I do not know, but whatever the reason, I am glad for it because I have never felt alone in the joys and the tragedies of my life.

About 10 years back, I became aware that one is not limited to just one Gift of the Holy Spirit. We receive all (wisdom, understanding, knowledge, counsel, piety, fortitude, and fear of the Lord) at our Baptism. As God is Love, God does not ration Love, or give more to one than another. It is given in full (to all) and all we have to do is open ourselves to it and participate in it. That is the free gift of Grace. We really do not have to even ask for it. It has been freely and fully given. We are in Christ. We live and have our being within the divine life of Most Holy Trinity. And yes, it does take Faith but with Faith, one has eyes to see.

By the way, nowadays, I have added Compassion to my petition and have the rest of my life to cultivate it.

The featured image is an icon of St. Symeon, the New Theologian. Symeon was an abbot and ascetic writer in tenth-century Constantinople. He was born in Galatia, Asia Minor, in AD 949. Symeon was not stranger to controversy, even within his own community. His first fifteen years as an abbot was a time of rebuilding, efforts to reform the monks, an increase in vocations. Many of his writings and hymns are still available. The inscriptions that I placed on the scroll that he is holding is one of my favorites. It reads:

“Do not say: It is impossible to receive the Holy Spirit. Do not say: Human beings do not see divine light; this is very possible for those who wish it.”

Do you wish it?

To whom shall we go?

The featured image is a carving of Jesus Christ named Pantocrator. The word Pantocrator is of Greek origin meaning “ruler of all.” He holds the book of the Gospels in his left hand and blesses with his right hand.

The icon portrays Christ as the Righteous Judge and Lover of Mankind, both at the same time. The Gospel is the book by which we are judged and the blessing proclaims God’s loving kindness toward us, showing us that he is giving us his forgiveness. The oldest known Pantocrator icon was written in the sixth century. It was preserved in the monastery of St. Catherine in the Sinai desert.

Years ago, my employer was striving to change its management culture to a more inclusive and collaborative style. One of the leadership workshops focused on better respecting the ideas and voices of everyone. In their best of intentions they crafted the over-arching theme to be “Everyone speaks their own truth.” I knew the workshop leaders well so after the workshop we talked. I said that when you say everyone speaks their own truth – you are saying that truth is relative meaning that there is no “absolute” truth. This is called “relativism” – where people live by the motto, “Well that’s your truth and I have my truth.”

To say there is no absolute truth is to say there is no God. We become our own god which is what the Genesis account of humanity’s Fall is all about. Eat the fruit and be “like gods” (Gn 3:5). Rather, it would be accurate to say that everyone speaks their own “bias.” This we cannot escape.

Our world, the world we see, is a reflection of our self-image. In a symbolic way Christ told us that we behold ourselves in what we see: the lamp of the body is the eye” (Mt 6:22); “take care then that the light in you not become darkness” (Lk 11:35); “for if the light in you is darkness, how great will be the darkness [everywhere]” (Mt 6:23).

We are tied to our judgmental world with its guilt and punishment because we are tied to the people (and system) which formed us. The basis for our judgments is often founded on what we’ve learned from key people in our lives. These people make up “our gods.” Parental gods, church gods, state gods, corporate gods, teacher gods, peer gods, friend gods. These gods are now internalized; we carry them around in our head and look to them for support. (see ref: Who told you that you were naked? by John Jacob Raub, Crossroad Pub)

If I resort to no one but myself, with my own thoughts and feelings, as a guide towards truth and morality – I am in deep trouble, …and have often been.

There is a reference in John’s gospel if Jesus teaching his followers about his Most Holy Body and Blood (Jn 6:51-58). Because of this hard saying, many of his followers departed him but those who stayed replied, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life; and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.”

I find myself asking this same question, “Lord, to whom shall I go?” In response, I admit that I do not have a better answer by which to guide my life but Jesus Christ and his good news.

Understanding one’s life in the context of Jesus’ passion, death, and resurrection is not some romantic “goodwill” gesture. It does come with an experience and understanding of suffering and death but equally on its other side comes “new” life.

If there is something better out there, I have not found it. Now, to whom shall you go?

To know Good

A few years back while attending my son’s graduation ceremony we sat mid-level from the arena floor. A few seats down and to the right of us there was an older couple who I later learned were grandparents of a graduating senior. About ten rows further down was a lady who had tied a colorful bundle of helium filled balloons to the armrest of her chair. The balloons had celebratory slogans of “Congratulations Senior!”

My first thought upon seeing these colorful balloons was how it was such a thoughtful gesture by someone who cared for a young person about to graduate. I am sure that when the kid was given the balloons after the ceremony they would be joyful and think well of the giver. I thought to myself, … the idea would never have entered my mind to do the same for my son.

As the ceremony began the graduating seniors began their procession to the seats on the auditorium floor. It soon became obvious that the “thoughtful” gift of balloons were blocking the view of the people sitting in the levels above. By the time the procession ended and all the students reached their seats, the thoughtful gesture of the lady with the balloons had fully aggravated a host of parents and grandparents who could not see their kids because of the balloons.

This got me thinking, that a good and thoughtful gesture by one person is not automatically received as good by another. In other words, human good is not necessarily a universal good. It is relative and imperfect just as we are.

In Genesis it reads that after creation on the sixth day, God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. Creation and life is gift and that being created in the likeness and image of God can only be goodness.

And through Baptism we are gifted with the indwelling Holy Spirit and those spiritual gifts operating within us are permanent dispositions that make us docile to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit. The seven gifts of the Spirit is derived from Isaiah 11:1–3: wisdom, understanding, knowledge, counsel, piety, fortitude, and fear of the Lord.

I have knowingly experienced God’s good gifts, freely given. I have never doubted but at my worst, I have chosen to ignore. In this, I do not stand alone.

In 1996 I attended Cursillo 327 and sat at St. James’ table. It was a major milestone in my spiritual journey. One of many spiritual benefits has been a developed appreciation for the book of St James. Below is an excerpt;.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:5-7)

James describes the one who doubts as someone who constantly changes allegiances and cultivates the patina of faith, wrongly thinking mechanistic action to be the heart of faith. James calls us to be people of character, whose faith manifests itself in action commensurate with what God has called us to be. We are called to become authentically human. Accepting our frailty, our failures, and our need of God’s grace, care, and forgiveness. We are each called to be like Christ, who is also a God who forgives, for he understands our pain and our frailty. God knows and Loves us and that is absolutely good.

James invites us to ask God for Wisdom, especially during trials. This is to walk the middle course between irrational optimism and a worldly pessimism that betrays a lack of trust in God. Irrational optimism can be marked by a failure to understand oneself and one’s situation. Neither irrational optimism nor worldly pessimism takes seriously God or ourselves.

Are you in the habit of praying and opening yourself to God’s Wisdom and if you do, do you allow it to replace your own?

Our Life as Art

The little girl in the red blouse is Nuna. She lives in Nongkhai Thailand at Sarnelli House for abandoned children and children affected with HIV/AIDS. Nuna’s condition, due to AIDS, has made her blind and deaf with a malformed lower body and extremities. Her hands are often wrapped to prevent biting/gnawing of her fingers. She responds with a joyful smile upon hearing the sound of the other toddlers playing and responds most clearly and happily to the voice of Fr Mike.

Over the last few years, I have been able to send a small offering in her name. She is my angelic reminder of where Joy and Happiness in this life is to be found.

There are 175 orphaned children under Fr Mike’s care as well as another 75 or so who lived the the ‘Sarnelli Outreach Program’. Many of those in the Sarnelli orphanage live with conditions similar to those of Nuna, albeit most others with sight and hearing but nevertheless a myriad of medical problems they endure … But all with joy and happiness in their hearts from the support given them by Fr Mike, his staff, and of course the sponsors of the children.

Performance art may be either scripted or unscripted, random or carefully orchestrated; spontaneous or otherwise carefully planned with or without audience participation.

Throughout scripture, we can find any number of scripts to any number of scenes in which to pick and practice in life. We do not even have to audition. Free Will, allows us to pick the part we want to play. We do not even have to worry about applause or recognition from others although at some point we will get feedback on our work of art.

“Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me” (Matt 25:40)

No one has ever returned from the afterlife to tell us what our final judgment will be like, so we can muse a bit. In each of the four gospels there is an account of Peter’s denial of Jesus as Jesus was being questioned by the religious authorities in Jerusalem. Only Luke (22:61) notes that after Peter had denied knowing Jesus for the third time, the Lord, while under arrest, turned and looked at him.

I can image the scene, Jesus giving Peter a silent look and then Peter remembering Jesus’ earlier word that whoever denies me before men will be denied before God’s angels.” Perhaps it was a look of forgiveness and encouragement, …what do you imagine?

The below photo is my good friend Deacon Reggie holding baby angel Nuna. He and his family are returning from a June 2018 visit to Sarnelli. Beyond friendship, Reggie is an inspiration and mentor.

Visit the Sarnelli House website

What people thinks…

This collage was inspired by a quote taken from the non-fiction book, “A Sanctuary of Outcast” by Neil White. It hangs in my home and serves as a reminder.

The quote was attributed to an elderly black woman who spent all but the first six years of her life at Carville, LA socially abandoned with physical disfigurement caused by Hansen’s disease and social ignorance. She was no longer concerned with what other people thought of her. She knew who she was and was not ashamed.

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Fear and hiding our true self has primordial origins. We have forgotten that fear is not of God.

In the Genesis story after the fall , God called to the humans, “Where are you?” The human answered, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” God said, “Who told you that you were naked?” That is, “Humanity, who told you that you were bad? Who told you that you were not what you should be, …Who told you that you were separated from me, that you were guilty?”

We all struggle to accept our true identity in God and our spiritual freedom; for it requires us to continually change our mind about who God is, about who we are and about who Christ is.

Striving to live open and honest is not easy. It must be desired and lived each day open to constant conversion. Truth is, whether we live our true self or false self, people will still place their judgment on us. You will either be accepted, rejected, or simply ignored. In total, we experience all three.

Regardless of what people think of you, At the end of the day, do you lay your head down content in your holy and pure heart, or do you stay awake with anxiety and shame?

In John 6, Jesus replies to an unbelieving crowd who take offense to his hard sayings, “…the words I have spoken to you are Spirit and life.” Afterwards, many of his disciples drew back and no longer walked with him. Jesus then said to the Twelve, “Will you also go away?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go?”

Peter’s response is one of those universal questions about what we chose to guide our own life. If we rely solely upon our own judgment, we fall into a relativism which says that I get to judge what is good and what is evil, “I am the center of the universe.” This is the sin of Adam and Eve, …the sin of Pride, and who has not lived long enough to see its many faces of evil and destruction?

The Holy Spirit is no doubt operative in our lives and the Ignatian exercises of discerning Spirit is good but it cannot stand alone. If we think so, let’s go back to Genesis and consider how subtle the evil spirit led Eve to eat of the fruit.

Is there a greater written Wisdom available to man than what is found in Scripture, particularly the gospels?

To apply the gospel as a standard in which to further develop one’s personality and daily actions is not a romantic venture. It will lead you to the cross as it did to Jesus. This is courage to be.

Where in the gospel do you find yourself?

Why?

As Jesus sat at table with those most close to him, he says, “He who has dipped his hand in the dish, will betray me.” Amazingly, Judas who had already conspired with the chief priest replies, “Is it I, Master?”

Later that evening when Jesus is in prayer and fellowship on the Mount of Olives, Judas trailed by a great crowd handling swords and clubs comes up to Jesus and says, “Hail Master!” and kisses him. Jesus says to him, “Friend, why are you here?”

Jesus was not surprised by any of this. He knew it was the will of the Father that He go to the cross. He had told His disciples about it weeks before: “The Son of Man is about to be betrayed into the hands of men, and they will kill Him, and the third day He will be raised up.” He was aware of what was going to happen, and He was content with it.

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What person has never experienced the pain and shock of being betrayed by a friend, a husband or wife, or a brother or sister? Words simply are inadequate to describe the pain that accompanies betrayal, but consider the opening lines to John Michael Talbot’s version of “Why?”

Why did it have to be a friend, who chose to betray the Lord. Why did he use a kiss to show them. That is not what a kiss is for.

Only a friend can betray a friend. A stranger has nothing to gain. And only a friend comes close enough, to ever cause so much pain.

It is said with respect to human relationships that it takes a long time to develop a deep, profound trust between human beings. There is certainly truth and security in the statement to safeguard oneself before trusting another, but if we model our life in Jesus it is important to acknowledge that this is not what Jesus does. Jesus does not require us to earn his trust, or his love. Yes, it takes great courage to trust another person “up front” without needing it to be earned. It also takes great faith and “strength of spirit” to endure the first devastating punch of the betrayer. And when knocked down get back up, …only to forgive.

When we experience the pain of betrayal, we find our consolation in suffering by walking with Jesus not only to the cross, but through the cross – with the conviction that to be “raised up” we will enter new Life. It is the Paschal Mystery.

Is it beyond time to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply?

If not today, when?

Click on the link to listen to JMT’s version of “Why?”

Grace is not a thing

The featured image was composed during a painful moment of personal loneliness.

It is inspired by a famous icon titled, “The Hospitality of Abraham” which images the biblical story of Gen 18:1-18. Three visitors sit at table with Abraham and Sarah under the Oaks of Mamre. It is one of the earliest biblical “theophanies” of God, as Trinity; Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

We all experience loneliness and there are many triggers; Sin, Shame, Desertion, Loss of Spouse or Family, Disability, Depression, Old Age, Approaching death, etc. In this desolation, we are most vulnerable to the evil lie that we are alone in our pain and damned to eternal victimization where there is no Hope.

Truth is that we are never alone.

Through Baptism, Grace infused by the Holy Spirit enters into our soul – heals it and makes it holy – enabling it to live within the Body of Christ and to act by and through Love.

This Grace is favor, the free and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to become his children, partakers of the divine nature and of eternal life. In a most simple understanding; Grace is a participation in the life of God. And yes, it cannot be known except by faith which leads us to a response to its invitation.

To live a life of faith, is to recognize that we are never alone in our human experience but have access to a participation within the divine life and relationship of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God gives us the gift and the capacity to make our own happiness out of our own situation.

Was there ever a mystifying occurrence in your life, of either joy or tragedy, that caused you to consider that maybe something greater than yourself was at play?

Perhaps you considered it coincidence, …perhaps divine Grace.

At what age are we grown?

My earliest memory goes back to when I was three years old. It was 1960.

Our mother had her beauty shop in the front room of our house. It had typical beauty shop furniture; a styling chair and dryer, mirrors and some pictures on the wall. My favorite place to sit was on the floor underneath the air conditioner window unit. It was the coolest spot in the house.

The older ladies would ask me, “And, how old are you?” Proudly, I would lift my right hand, forcing three middle fingers to stick up, so I could claim for myself and be affirmed by the elder ladies that I was now a “big boy.”

Nowadays, when I tell people in their 70’s and 80’s my age they say, “Oh, you are still so young!”

Well, at 60+ years of age I am entering the latter phase of earthly life. I can say (and my body confirms) that I am no longer young but in terms of maturity of intellect, wisdom, emotions, and spirit – I have to ask, am I now a “big boy?”

As I pass each decade of living, I’ve learned that “LIFE” exposes and sometimes crushes the fantasies that I’ve held about myself and the life to be. When I hear someone say, “I need to speak my truth,” I think NOT truth but the little voice in our head that convinces us that we are “bigger” than who we truly are. It is the liar we must never ignore.

There is only one Truth and it is absolute. No one person can claim personal ownership of it. So, the question that I ask myself today is, “am I still that little child whose ego is saying, You are a big boy, now, … you are mature?” Hopefully not, because it won’t be long before life itself will erase this fantasy and teach me otherwise.

If we are fortunate to live one more day, or perhaps a decade or two, how will we look back on this moment, …what maturity and immaturity will I find?

By what means do we believe, …

No one has to tell this young boy that something is on his line. He has not yet seen it and cannot describe it but from the look on his face, we know he is engaging in mind, body, and spirit while anxiously awaiting to find out.

We begin our earthly life codependent on parents and caretakers for survival. They are preparing us for the day when we reach adulthood and becoming accountable for our own choices in life.

When I’ve ask adults, “How did you come to believe in a God?” they most often reply, “Its what my momma and daddy taught me.” Yes, we are to be most grateful for their guidance but in regards to our own eternal salvation, we are not judged on someone else’s account or the standard in which they lived their lives.

Authentic and mature spirituality requires us to leave our childhood faith to claim personal ownership and conviction to our individual response to the question; by what faith and reason have I come to believe in a Loving God?

The question begs continual contemplation and if fruitful will lead to continual conversion throughout all phases of one’s life. To do otherwise is to be content with a thought-less life journey in “practical atheism.”

By what faith and reason are you convicted that there is a Loving God?