As a child of the 50s and 60s, my favorite cartoon character was Popeye, the Sailor Man.
What little boy does not dream of being strong and muscular, and with a little extra spinach superpower, standing up to bully Brutus to protect and serve his love interest, Olive Oyl.
There may be something deeper in the idea that Popeye had to taste bitter spinach to unlock his superpower. Seemingly, much like real life.
Like most, I’ve had a few deeply bitter experiences that I would not wish upon anyone. Yet, as one works through these experiences, I believe it can unlock one’s superpower: human wisdom.
Human wisdom, much like Popeye’s superpower, often emerges from our most challenging and bitter experiences. Just as the bitterness of spinach unlocks Popeye’s strength, our greatest insights and strengths are often forged in the crucible of adversity. It is as though these most painful experiences, are the very moments that compel us to dig deep within ourselves and find out who we truly are.
I have been formed through many avenues: World travels, academic degrees, relationships, and other pursuits of passion. Still, it is the two devastating divorces and two most painful severances from corporate and religious institutions that have taught me the most about myself, others, and the world at large. Overcoming these devastations is what granted me enlightenment into who I am. Between the tears, I held faith that the source of Wisdom would teach me. And when those castle walls crumbled, so did my illusions of self, others, and naivete of human tribalism. Each time, I had to rebuild my life and sense of self.
As the famous Popeye would say, I yam what I yam and dats all what I yam. Self-acceptance is good advice for kids and for adults.
Our superpower, unlike Popeye’s, is within and often developed through the bitter trials and tribulations we endure. Bitter experiences, rather than comfort and recognition, are the secret ingredient that unlocks our true potential and fortifies our spirit. If we so chose.
I do not wish to carry through life the bitterness of past experiences. Or, for that matter any other baggage that no longer serves me, and others. What I do wish to carry is the wisdom gleaned from these experiences. So, the big challenge entering elderhood is to recognize the expiration dates of past roles and expectations and harvest the fruits from past labor and toils; nourishing new life.
I no longer need to fight for America (USN Veteran), solve anyone’s problems (Engineer), be obligated to educate anyone (Teacher), or actively guide anyone on how to live their lives (clergy). I gave the best of myself to these roles: veteran, engineer, teacher, clergy, and husband but their time and purpose, are no more. Now is the time for a fresh life-giving with heavy doses of gratitude.
I do not have the energy or will to fight on the tribal battlefield, ie. Republican vs. Democrat, black vs. white, male vs. female, Catholic vs. not, America vs. the world, etc, etc. And, if I am in such an environment in which people around me wish to participate in those fights, I will not.
Today, my cherished roles are son, brother, father, grandfather, and friend. May my response to these roles be solely of gratitude, and affirmation.
What about yourself?
Ps. Please share in the comments: What past role in your life no longer serves a need, or what do you see as the greatest gift that elderhood offers one’s self, and others?
It’s often a difficult choice to lay down our armour and the structures that helped us carry it, as you well know. Thank you for the encouragement you have offered here that will touch another’s life and perhaps even allow him or her to begin to unhook themselves from whatever it is they carry.