“Holy cow,” Grandpa exclaimed into the phone. “How will I ever see my family during the holidays? Your kids are busy, and you are busy. Dang it! I want a turn!”
Grandpa was pacing the kitchen, calling the relatives. With each call he ended, he looked more glum and more disappointed. He set the phone down and reached for a cookie. He sank his teeth slowly into his favorite date and nut holiday cookie. They were dropped off earlier in the day by his neighbor, Gretchen. We all think Gretchen has a crush on Grandpa.
Gramps swallowed the cookie, washed it down with two glugs of milk, and once again blurted, “Holy Cow! Those are delicious!” Then, his face changed, his eyes lit up, and with a smile, he said, “Billy Boy” (that’s what he calls me because I’m his favorite grandson), “I’m gonna host Thanksmas this year!”
“What’s that?” I asked, looking at him like he was crazy.
I noticed the crumbs on Gramp’s shirt and gave him the dust your shirt off gesture, which he did while launching into an excited description.
“Thanksmas is my new holiday. It’s not Thanksgiving, it’s not Christmas, it’s somewhere in between. It is my new holiday, and everyone is invited to my house. A new official family holiday.”
He turned and left the room, and from the hallway, I heard a “Whoopie!” A few moments later, he returned with his calendar. “This year, it will be December 18th,” he said as he picked up his phone to extend invitations. It felt like, “Come Dancer, come Prancer, come Donner and Vixen.” Gramps was holiday command central, reining in his team.
Ps. Thanks to Erika Putman, writing circle friend, for the above story:
“Big family gatherings ain’t what they used to be.”
By its own nature, divorce splits families. When I divorced back in 1997, I knew then that the kind of family gatherings that my grandparents, mom, and dad experienced with their kids and grandkids would not happen for me or my kids.
The older folks of my youth are now mostly gone, and I’ve become the grandpa and want fresh holiday traditions with (and for) my kids and grandkids. The kind of traditions that nurture intimate interactions around our smaller family unit.
I’ll honor “old time” memories of past family gatherings but release any obligation to maintain what “used to be” simply for nostalgia’s sake. Nor falling prey to the unconscious marketing and dictates of our consumer culture.
Yes, I still want holiday meals around the family table, but when those major calendar dates are not available, it’s time to create a new family holiday.
We call it “Thanksmas.”
And for family and friends, if I do not see you on a holiday, know that I offer hospitality and welcome you into my home any day of the year.
We’ll call it our little “Thanksmas.”
