Last year, about this time, I gave a short talk on Sirach 27:30.
“Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.”
Anger is a universal human emotion that we all experience. To feel anger, is not wrong. The temptation comes when someone hurts us and our first impulse is to hurt them back. BUT – Christ teaches that anger acted out in vengeance – is an offense against God (and) neighbor.
When Jesus was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, Peter grabs a knife and cuts off the ear of the high priest’s slave. It is a perfect metaphor to what happens in anger, …we cut off the organ of communications. We stop listening. Anger cuts us off from one another. But, what did Jesus do? …he immediately heals the ear. He reestablishes the link of communications within the Mystical Body. That is what He is about.
We all wrestle with this deadly sin. I’ve been hurt and “by God,” I am going to hurt back. It happens between countries. It happens between people. Unfortunately, it happens way to often in our marriages and our families, where one member is not speaking to another. Each one getting back at each other. You hit me, I will hit you back, but harder. And, on it goes, …
So, … what is the antidote to the deadly sin of anger?
Jesus lives it and preaches it all the time, …Forgiveness.
What does it mean to you when you say “Forgive us our trespasses, …as we forgive those who trespass against us?” God wants nothing more for us – than to live in freedom. He is always trying to show us how to untie ourselves from these deadly sins that we’ve wrapped around ourselves. He is always trying to “loosen the chains.”
How many times Lord, …seven times? No, … I tell you, seven times seventy.
Forgiveness is to be the core of who we are, …if we are to live in “in God’s image and likeness.”
Forgiveness is all God is, …and that’s all he wants – “about us.” Anger is a universal human emotion – but there is a huge difference between experiencing anger (compared to) being stuck in anger.
It takes great courage and fortitude to be on the receiving end of someone’s anger, and choosing not to participate. When we fail to do this, we should not delude ourselves into thinking that we are living in God’s Spirit. Besides, do you really wish to live your life always susceptible to the depth of anger that exist in this world? Do you wish ti give another person so much power to manipulate and control your emotions and behavior? It is your choice, but if so, you are missing the “freedom” of the gospel.
On the other hand, if because of anger you have hurt someone, …take a very small step to heal that broken relationship. There is nothing more that needs to be done other than arriving at a place of contrition, and saying “I am sorry, …please forgive me.”
My most difficult act of forgiveness is when I have been most deeply hurt and I want that person to acknowledge it, but the “I am sorry, …please forgive me,” will never come. I can apply no logic to resolve it.
For me, the cemetery is my place of counseling. I go and take a 30 minute walk. I read the names and dates of the people “who had a real life” on this earth, just like me. I reminds me that there is a finality to my life, as well, I too will come here to rest. This may sound a bit morbid to some, but it restores my emotional balance.
And, as I have heard it said, ” Life and death is a package deal.” One does not come without the other. And to live with that acceptance offers us spiritual awareness and freedom in our daily lives.
Listen to the words of Sirach,
“Remember your last days, …set enmity aside; remember death and decay and cease from sin! Think of the commandments, …hate NOT your neighbor’ …remember the Most High’s covenant, and overlook faults.” (Sirach 28:6-7)
When Jesus says to forgive, it doesn’t mean that we should not feel pain or hurt. It does not mean that we have to forget what someone has done to us. Healing calls us to imitate Christ. In time, we are to move our injury into compassion.
When we struggle to overcome anger and resentment and can’t bring ourselves to “getting along” with the person who’s hurt us, …we can at least desire – no harm. Then, move our spirit and pray for them. And praying for them is a deep way to Love.
When we pray for someone who has hurt us, we choose to will “the good” for them: We ask God to bless them,…We ask God to heal them,…We ask God to save them.
It doesn’t mean we have to put ourselves in harms way. It doesn’t mean we have to let them treat us badly. We are not to remain anyone’s doormat. But it does mean that if someone has hurt us, we are to forgive and express that forgiveness above all by praying for them, …by interceding for them.
And that is a way to love and show mercy, …so that one day we too might be together with them – as forgiven sinners, …and servants who have been shown mercy, …in the everlasting kingdom of God.
It’s time for my walk.
The featured image is the cemetery where I hope one day, …to lay.
ps. I’d like to offer a good book recommendation,
“Happier Endings, A Meditation on Life and Death” by Erica Brown, Simon and Schuster, 2013
Nice reading for an important reflection
Thank you for sharing your thoughts