This old turtle is probably the oldest play thing in our public park. It hasn’t changed over the years. I played on it as a kid, I have brought my children and grandchildren to play on it. I am still fascinated with its caricature and simplicity.
Unlike this turtle, we come into this world as body, mind, and spirit. We experience constant forces of change. So why do we tend to fight change often “to the death?” We resist even when we acknowledge areas of our life that need to change for our own good?
The particular change that I am speaking is best described by a Greek term “metanoia.” which essentially means “to go beyond our present thought – which we construct and base our lives.”
I can think of two forms of change agents, ie. internal and external, that effect metanoia. Our personal will is an “internal” force. And when we are kind to ourselves, our will moves us through a less complicated and less painful metanoia.
Then there are “external” events, outside of our control that violently shatters our illusions of self and our future. Such as when we experience traumatic events of violence or the loss of a loved one, and we are forced into an emotional and mental deconstruction of our present sense of self and our environment. It is when we painfully learn how much of our thought about personal security and our future – was simply a mental fantasy.
These forced deconstructions are much more difficult to overcome. They tend to drive us into a dark corner to hide from ourselves and others. It is our personal jail and we are too scared to come out, …we are simply dying a slow death. In psychological terms, we are faced with a fight or flight response. We will not heal from emotional pain that invariably comes to all of us if we hide from it, to heal we must face it and allow ourselves to feel it. There is a quote I remember from long ago, and I don’t remember the author so I will paraphrase, to move through the pain of grief, one must savor it as though one is sipping on a glass fine wine.
Grief is to be felt, not ignored. And part of the process of healing from grief is allowing oneself to remain open and vulnerable to others through time. It is also helpful to fill the loss with some “thing” by gifting yourself with what offers you new life by stepping in to any unfulfilled passions and interest that you have yet realized in our life. In simpler words, what have you always wanted to experience but haven’t? To step into it is the act of creating anew.
It is beyond me to fully understand why people (even institutions) do harm to self and to others. Some have postulated it is because we are all “imperfect” people but that only sounds like a rationalization or a position of tolerance to evil. If it is truly a part of our human condition to hurt ourselves and others, does the scale of harm have to be so great? I think not.
I know that I have hurt others through my own ignorance and hopefully not so great that it was not easily overcome. I have also been hurt deeply by others. I do not for a moment think that I am alone in this reality of living life. At the same time, I do not wish to live my life as a perpetual victim.
Metanoia means that it is possible “to go” through the pain in this life and find something anew on the others side. I do not have to stay in the same place nor do I want to. I choose my life to be in constant movement toward God (and others) in my true being. This does take forgiveness which is the choice to “letting go” of the past, anticipating the future, and being attentive to the present. It is the act of metanoia.
We can recognize a much larger scheme at work in our lives once we recognize that the passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ is also the movement in our own life. Not that the passion and death is easy, but that no matter what death we experience in this life, even our little deaths, there will always be for us – new life, …always.
The featured image is a recent photo. Maybe, it’s time to name my old endeared friend, any thoughts?
