“Do not say: It is impossible to receive the Holy Spirit. Do not say: Human beings do not see divine light; this is very possible for those who wish it.”
St. Symeon, The New Theologian
As a naïve and imaginative twelve year old, I gave my life to Christ and when I did – I felt flushed with the Holy Spirit. It was at my Confirmation. I can recall the place and experience as though it was yesterday. Ever since, I’ve never doubted the existence of a power greater than myself, …at work in my life.
As our teachers prepared us for Confirmation, two biblical stories captured my imagination; that of Solomon and his noted wisdom (1 Kings 3:5) and the Upper Room event on the Jewish Feast of Pentecost (Acts 2).
Great emphasis was placed on the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit (wisdom, understanding, knowledge, counsel, piety, fortitude, and fear of the Lord). For whatever reason, I thought we could ask for and receive “only” one of seven gifts of the Holy Spirit. I chose Wisdom.
It was an easy choice for if I chose Wisdom, like Solomon, I would also have a pretty good chance for riches and long life. Kinda like three for the price of one. (note: I may have been young and naiive, but not stupid.)
The evening of Confirmation was a significant experience for me. That night, I made a conscious choice to give my life to Christ, …to be his disciple and willing to die for it. This is certainly heady stuff for a twelve year old but when I committed to this, I felt such a rush of something come over me.
Now, I do not claim to know what the Holy Spirit feels like and I must say that I do not ignore the possibility that what I felt was temporal emotions but I did experience something. Within my belief system, I attribute it to God’s Spirit acting and operating upon and within me, …no differently than what the Apostles experienced on that first Pentecost after Jesus’ death.
Some fifty years later, I can recall nearly a half dozen events in my life where the Grace of the Holy Spirit has convicted me of its presence and power. I hope to write on these events, as time goes.
I have never stopped asking God for Wisdom and have never failed to be blessed by it. I simply await patiently. It is not some super mental power that elevates me above anyone else. I sense it more to be enlightened understanding of the mind of Christ’s teaching as it portends to salvation and to being. It is no doubt a divine gift that is absolute good, but admittedly, there are moments when I’ve felt it as burden since it blows apart my neat little world of right and wrong, should be and should not be, worthy and unworthy. God’s love shatters my worldview of reward and punishment. It never feels as the easier path in life.
For many years, I’ve thought my Confirmation experience was common to every one else. From what people tell me, most have not had any special experience to recall. I have always wondered why. Maybe it was my childhood gullibility to believe what adults told me coupled with my imagination. I do not know, but whatever the reason, I am glad for it because I have never felt alone in the joys and the tragedies of my life.
About 10 years back, I became aware that one is not limited to just one Gift of the Holy Spirit. We receive all (wisdom, understanding, knowledge, counsel, piety, fortitude, and fear of the Lord) at our Baptism. As God is Love, God does not ration Love, or give more to one than another. It is given in full (to all) and all we have to do is open ourselves to it and participate in it. That is the free gift of Grace. We really do not have to even ask for it. It has been freely and fully given. We are in Christ. We live and have our being within the divine life of Most Holy Trinity. And yes, it does take Faith but with Faith, one has eyes to see.
By the way, nowadays, I have added Compassion to my petition and have the rest of my life to cultivate it.
The featured image is an icon of St. Symeon, the New Theologian. Symeon was an abbot and ascetic writer in tenth-century Constantinople. He was born in Galatia, Asia Minor, in AD 949. Symeon was not stranger to controversy, even within his own community. His first fifteen years as an abbot was a time of rebuilding, efforts to reform the monks, an increase in vocations. Many of his writings and hymns are still available. The inscriptions that I placed on the scroll that he is holding is one of my favorites. It reads:
“Do not say: It is impossible to receive the Holy Spirit. Do not say: Human beings do not see divine light; this is very possible for those who wish it.”
Do you wish it?
